She sounds like someone who has no understanding of what autistic people are like, and was applying the standards of a neurotypical relationship to her interactions with you. She could and perhaps should have taken it upon herself to learn, but your dad also really dropped the ball by not preparing her.
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my dad thinks i’m eccentric or awkward but he doesn’t believe i have autism even with my diagnosis, my stepmom has gotten better but she’s still a bit rude
Yeah, neither of them is doing you any favor with their beliefs trumping a diagnosis.
I’m sorry you experienced that as a child during your formative years. I had a stepmom who was often especially cruel to me, which became apparent in the way she treated her own child many years later. It’s hard and unfair, but it builds character, I suppose. sorry I wish I had something more inspiring to say. I understand how you feel though, minus the autism aspect.
"why can't you be normal and engage in deep discussions with me instead of talking about movies and such?"
I can engage in deep discussions... About movies, and video games and music I like. Why can't you, mom? 🤷♂️