Kolanaki

Started singing a song (sans music) while cleaning my kitchen, picked up my phone for a second to check the time and I noticed the song grabby part was showing it was hearing the correct song, though a cover by an artist I don't know. Which means I sound exactly like an actual professional singer :D

They Ransomware.

Posted comment just now, noticed a typo and I wanted to add a little more and noticed the edit button has vanished.

How else do you get the bag of cheese powder out?

Been running through DS3 again and it's been an absolute breeze this run... Up until I got to Halflight and the game seems to be broken. I deal 0 damage, can't even stun anything. At first, I thought maybe the player summoned to be the boss was cheating, but the problem persists offline.

I am using the Demon's Fist, A Broadsword and I have Lothric's Banner for the buff. Not one of them seem to hit anything except Argo (who goes down super fast to the fists). Even Patches is not dealing damage to anything he hits!

I have verified the files, even re-installed the game... I just can not do any fucking damage to Halflight or the Painted Guardians and I don't know what the hell is going on.

I'm pretty pissed rn.

There ain't no unlimited use invasion tool, and farming them is both annoying and also fucks up your SM. How can I be bad red man if they don't give me bad red man balls? 😩

I had basically forgotten about this song until the hook crept back into my head today. I spent 3 hours looking for it without remembering the band, the name, or any lyrics. Just the first 10 seconds or so of the music (and humming it to an app did NOT help).

Fucking epic-ass song; can't beleive I had forgotten it.

And I don't just mean Demon's Souls and King's Field. I don't think the genre itself is super unique, as much as it was (originally) a kind of return to form that simply hit at just the right moment. Plenty of games long before DS were similar in gameplay and sometimes even tone.

Like Soul Reaver, which is extremely similar with the combat, non-linear yet linear through metroidvania type tools level design, and even a respawn system where instead of loading a save, you come back with everything you did still done but now you're somewhere else and forced to backtrack.

I've kinda exhausted all the new options and I still crave more so now I'm looking back to the past to see if there's anything I missed out on when it was new. The only thing I could think of off the top of my head was the Soul Reaver series, tho.

Saw a few lemmings recommending this one and it was super cheap on sale so I got it. I regret it.

The combat is floaty as hell and INCREDIBLY EASY as not a single enemy to this point (I am about 70% through the game rn according to the progression thingy on the PS5 homescreen) will actually stay facing you so you can pretty much dodge once and stay behind them the whole time.

There have only been 3 unique boss enemies so far; all other bosses have literally been shit mobs with an extra little dark energy effect on them.

There are return points/shortcut paths that save absolutely no time compared to the normal, non-shortcut paths. Multiple times have I opened a 1 way door that was only around the corner from the starting path. Like you go the only open way 10 feet, turn around and there's a door going back the way you came that was blocked from being opened on the side you came from.

Hella side quests are given to you way earlier than you can access them, and not just because you haven't found the traversal tools yet. Like the first sidequest needs all 3 tools to get to and a key. You are given the key before you even have 1 of the tools and even after getting the tools, if you immediately try to go where the quest wants you, you reach a gate that can't be interacted with even though you have a key that says it is for THE FRONT GATE, you need to do a couple more parts of the main quest to trigger an unrelated event that opens that gate, and the FRONT GATE KEY opens the actual door to the building and not any kind of gate.

Enemy variety is literally like 6 guys. Axe guy, spear guy, snake guy, sword guy, wrecking ball guy, and fat fuck.

Just about the only thing I like is the dialogue. It's well acted and very flowery with the use of words. I also like that it's set in the real world and features actual historical figures. Like the BBG is King Louis 14 and your boss is Marie Antionette and you meet dudes like La Fayette and Robespierre. But it's an alternate history where the guy who came up with "Animal Magnetism" actually had mystic powers, and those secrets are being used to create the robots you fight.

Note I didn't say I liked the story. The story itself is fairly average. It's not complex and I pretty much guessed the biggest reveal of it the first time I collected the game's version of hard souls off a dead body.

If I had bought it on PC instead of PS5, this would be my Steam review and I would NOT RECOMMEND it.

So while I was in Sen's Fortress I was looking for at least 1 illusory wall I remembered being there. I always roll into them and when I did come to the wall I was looking for, it didn't open until I hit it, and I only hit it because using Guidance I could see the message marking it as an illusory wall was highly UP voted instead of downvoted. And it was telling the truth.

So now I am questioning how many god damn illusory walls I missed because they don't all follow the same rules. Like, the one that leads to Havel's set is opened by rolling. The two leading the the Great Hollow are opened by rolling. The one that was in Sen's Fortress ONLY opened by hitting it with my weapon.

I am fairly certain I remember there being one down in the depths but I never find it again and then assume maybe I am confusing it with a similar area in a differen game. Is there one and it's jist only opened by attacking and not rolling? 🤔

Like, is it just an allegory for diesease and pestilince that tends to grow in swampy, damp, dark places or is there actually a type of body of liquid that would be poisonous to tread through and not by injesting or infecting through an open wound? 🤔