When I was 10 I thought Elton John was singing goodbye aubergine instead of goodbye Norma Jeane. To this very day I have great difficulty in understanding song lyrics :/

When I was really young, I naively believed that nobody ever die and that if they go to the hospital, they'll come out all fine, just a bit older. It only took me to watch James Bond movie with my father to shatter that nativity when I realize that people can actually die.

I believed I was destined to become a bully. There were two older boys in the neighborhood who were jerks, and they were my “evidence”. I expected to turn out like them, because I thought being mean to little kids was just part of growing up.

Fortunately, I got really upset about it one day and talked to mom. I told her I didn’t want to grow up and be a teenager. I didn’t want to bully little kids. She reassured me that it didn’t work the way I thought it did.

When I was little I thought girls had penises (I am male). In High School, I was very confused about reproduction and how it could work. The great part of living in a red state that does not believe in sex education. I was in college before I learned that women do not have a penis.

I never moved house as a young child, so I believed that when you wanted to move, you had to go find someone else who wanted to trade houses with you. It seemed like a very difficult process to find a person whose house you wanted but they also wanted yours.

To my perfectly logical child brain, regular milk came from white cows with black spots, and chocolate milk came from white cows with brown spots!

There were a few (I was just a kid, after all)! And I'm embarrassed to admit this lasted until I was 11 or 12. I thought dying only happened painlessly in your sleep overnight, and only an unlucky few died in a hospital or accident or while suffering.

I thought everybody just went to whatever church was nearest to their house.

I thought only guys could fart.

I thought the old days were actually black and white!

I thought movies were real and they just literally followed people around with a camera for the events in movies. Of course, animated movies were a little difficult to resolve with this logic. So, I just figured there was an alternate universe where everything was animated and that's where they came from.

I believed chinese/japanese ink was made from cuttlefish "ink".

My brother told me and I belived for years...

I thought eggs were a dairy product because they were sold in the milk aisle and were also white.