Cool see ya in 2 days

If buying isn't ownership then pirating isn't stealing

Big Mac = cake

Every time this comes up it needs to be pointed out that he did not pay for 9 peoples vacation, his boss did.

No I believe it's "I have an uncle who does yoga"

He is legit JP from Grandma's Boy.

I really hate the way that tally is set up

That's exactly why I got a vasectomy. If it really comes down to it adopting is the better choice since those kids are already stuck existing so might as well just try to make the world slight less miserable for them

Meanwhile, I'm an atheist living my whole life in fear

Way I see it, it was either give it to you or let it go to a landfill.

Is that Jim Carrey in Yes Man?

PRIMUS SUCKS