I don't know, I'd probably just give 50 millions to charity and hire a professional to counsel me on what to do with the rest

I mean, this is not really a solution. Poachers don't do what they do because they're greedy and hate animals, they do it because they're poor and have often no other choice but to risk their lives to make a living, and they are probably getting something like 10$ per rhino horn. This is a systematic problem perpetually reinforced by the actual people we should be shooting: the millionaires who hire the poachers. They are the ones destroying the environment, exploiting animals and people and reselling those same rhino horns for ridiculous amounts of money on the black market.

It seems to me like you're a bit overwhelmed by your troubles, so the first thing I'd recommend (if you're not already doing it) is therapy: it can help you figure out what you really want and why you don't have it. Outside of that you probably shouldn't be putting so much pressure on yourself, there's no template that your life needs to fit in, you can just take your time and figure it out; it's good that you want to better yourself, but you should also cut yourself some slack.

We shouldn't colonize mars, or any other planet, ever. We should just swim in our own filth for the rest of eternity. I mean, this planet had everything we could ask for and look what we did to it, if we start doing this on other planets as well we're eventually just gonna turn into fucking galactus.

Absolutely, there's nothing like that feeling. I learned it being a scout, it's as if the tiredness was the physical proof that you've accomplished something.

Fnord to you my friend

I mean, I have beliefs, just not religious ones. The only religions that I could ever vibe with were Wicca and Discordianism, and in time I realized that was because the only forces that I could ever accept having power over me are nature and chaos.

Well, when I'm at home a cup of tea usually does the trick. When I'm outside on the other hand, I like to take long walks, I just pick a direction and start walking without worrying about where I'm going and stop thinking, maybe with some music in my headphones. I do this until my legs start hurting, and by that point I feel better.