Thanks, I threw up a little.

The the Arch software repos are incredible and the Arch Wiki is, quite frankly, a work of art that should be celebrated with the same reverence as the Mona Lisa or David's uncircumcised cock.

But anyone recommending Arch to a Linux newbie needs a psych evaluation.

I've lost count of the number of times I've read stories to the effect of, "yeah, a regular package update bricked my desktop, but I just rolled my face across the keyboard and recompiled the offending software and got back to work, no big deal."

Cool. I'm so glad you can do that my guy, I really am. But how the hell do you expect average computer user to figure that out? The first time a software update leaves them at a command prompt with some cryptic GDM error message or a Nvidia kernel panic or something, they're going running back to Billy Gates' warm walled garden embrace. Shit, I like to think I'm half competent with Linux and I'd shit myself if that happened to me.

EDIT: Sorry, @7U5K3N@lemmy.dbzer0.com, I didn't nessicarily mean to direct any of that to you specifically, it's sort of just my standard copy pasta whenever I see Arch reccomded.

This might as well be heaven for me.

4 inches in 12 hours

laughs in Florida

You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.

Only... $45 million... Only... $45 million... Only... $45 million.... Dental plan... $45 million... Lisa needs braces... $45 million... Dental plan...

Your comment just reminded me that I've been paying for the family plan to include my father. The same guy that just kicked me out of the house I'd been paying him rent for.

Screw that guy. Enjoy your unskippable ads pops!

Stinkhorns. There's an entire family of stinky dick mushrooms.

Retention is pretty much the biggest one. Trying to download an obscure TV show from 12 years ago? Good luck.

That torrent with one seed in the Czech Republic might take six months to download, but I'll get there. Maybe.

I'm really triggered by the idea that Linux makes running old software easy. The bane of my existence is finding an application that depends on libButts.5.1, but my distro ships with libButts.5.3, which isn't backward compatible for some reason, and trying to install libButts.5.1 bricks the desktop environment for some reason.

That's funny... until I actually think about a 2.5in diameter turd... then I'm horrified.

Amen brother. Hit 35 after gallbladder removal. I'll never poop silently again.