I guess it's an endorsement when no one really has anything bad to say about them. We all just go "meh, there are better options if you've got the cash".

Money loves him and that's all that matters.

Ryobi, cuz I'm broke.

I'm an Android user and I have no idea what any of this means.

we will only have ourselves to blame

"We" who? I didn't vote for any of these dicks.

Worked at a newspaper for a few years.

With very few exceptions, they do not give a fuck about you or the news. The advertisers are their customers and your attention is their product.