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I can't do the stuff I want to do even in my time off. What the fuck is the point.
let me know when you find out comrade 
Thank you buddy 
either way i'll be fine. i've gotten through stuff like this before and i will again. it always sucks but the sadness of heartbreak can also be life affirming. at least i know this person still cares about me and vice versa, unlike my last situation where i felt like i was treated disposably/coldly.
had to use one of my two remaining sick days because of 
wednesday night, very cool (we get roughly one a month but still)
last romance post for a while
i sent a hail mary text to the person i was seeing to see if they wanted to try to talk things out. things seemed pretty bleak when she called me after she left, but we did leave off on "we have each others numbers, maybe we need to take a day or a few." there's not a villain in the situation but i do think if the fault lies on someone it was me this time, so i led with an apology and briefly explained what i think was informing my behaviors. regardless of how it goes i think i'm going to stop posting about it on here for a while. idk, i feel like it casts a curse on things. also starting to feel unseemly blasting my relationship issues to a semi-anonymous but broad-ish audience.
i do not want to go back on the fucking apps why did this have to happen when everything felt so good
Fuck. I'm 90 percent sure things between me and my lady friend ended tonight. love insecure attachment love not knowing whether ur poly or monogamous when u know im monogamous (i love my poly comrades im just venting). she felt truly special. i feel heartbroken. i wish there was some way we could make things work but everything feels fucked after tonight.
mad men is peak frenemy character writing. prefer its parent show overall (sopranos the GOAT) but MM is p unparalleled in its insight into this one specific interpersonal dynamic.
nah this was also mostly my limited experience with DSA but then again it's DSA and after many false starts i came to the sad conclusion that they're basically just democrats, didn't rub shoulders rlly at all with the fabled "cool/more radical/less electoralist working groups/subsections"
seein my lady friend tn 
...but it's my early day at work and i wish i had time to take a nap first 
CW dream child abuse
i had a dream where i'd seized power somehow and i threatened that i'd "crack your fucking head open if you get out of line" to a little kid because i knew they had fascist parents 
where tf does my subconscious cook this shit up, felt genuinely distraught afterward (their parents do get the wall though low key)
i'd also popped a melatonin which always makes my dreams fucky, that must be part of it
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SoylentSnake
joined 4 years ago
thank u ashi this means a lot