You say that, but trans women are banned from playing in women's chess. https://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/38210181/fide-bans-transgender-women-women-chess-events
So if you dig into the actual data, they point out that this is probably far from the actual number of murders, since it is only reported, and not all jurisdictions participate. One concerning thing though that I saw was that 94% of all the reported murders were of trans women.
Something I'd like to note, hormones can change your sexuality. I know prior to transition, I was only interested in women. Now that is far from the case. I know that wasn't the point of your comment, just wanted to bring that up when it comes to the "lesbian" tag.
So I'd say for myself personally, HRT didn't improve my mood all that much. What improved my mood was socially transitioning. For more reference, I was on HRT for a year prior to publicly socially transitioning. Prior to that, I was out to family and friends. That alone did make me feel better. I'd actually say HRT makes you feel a little off. It changes your brain chemistry quite a bit. I ended up being way more emotional after starting hrt. Again, get with a therapist that focuses on gender issues. I know it can be hard, but they will be able to give you a much better idea of what you should do as opposed to internet strangers.
Hey so I have a similar experience and can hopefully answer some of your questions. For reference I'm 30 MTF and have been on HRT for three years.
First and foremost, dysphoria doesn't need to be debilitating for you to be trans. When I finally started transitioning, I was in a good job and had completely finished school. I was just so miserable even though I should have been happy. I had also been having dysphoria symptoms since I was around 8.
Second, I've always found euphoria to be a better measurement of being trans. The first time I was called ma'am by a stranger, I cried such happy tears. If you have some supportive friends, ask them to treat you like one of the girls, might give you a better understanding of your gender.
Third, try getting in with a therapist that specializes in gender dysphoria, they will be able to give you a much better understanding of what you may be feeling.
Fourth, it's normal to question yourself. I question it all the time, but I remember how miserable I felt and how much better I feel now. That being said, that may not be true for you. You may not be trans, but no one here can tell you whether or not you are based on a single post. I do hope you have a safe and fruitful gender discovery, and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out.
I see someone watched the new CJ the X video