This is something I also struggle with. So much of the lefty philosophy is around acknowledging and respecting everyone as intrinsically human with a life worth preserving. Often I have a hard time hating the average Trump supporter or fascist shill because I know there's a million factors out of their control that got them there.
I have to remind myself constantly that my life is worth more than someone's who's chosen to harm another.
Guns aren't for everyone and I understand that. I don't think I could ever become a partisan in a revolution but I don't intend to be a statistic. If you do choose to have a weapon for self defense please at least train with it. Even pepper spray you can get refillable water squirting versions.
If you do want to try guns one day, I'd suggest a Pistol Caliber Carbine like the Ruger PCC. It shoots pistol rounds out of a carbine/rifle so it's much easier to control. The rifle in this picture is a KP-9.
Me too, comrade.