Things affect us. What we do as a result is up to us. So while you should be understanding of others, and how their trauma may have affected them, it also doesn't give them an excuse to do the same. It's a hard balance, being understanding vs not excusing them.
The Bible isn't horrific. Don't let others tell you it is just because they don't like it. There are a lot of historical stories in the Bible about people. People are sinful, and do bad things. Just because something is in the Bible, doesn't mean God approved of it happening, and that we are to mimic it.
Paul did not say Mary and Junia were preaching all over the place in Romans 16. He just said they were fellow believers, and that Junia had been in prison with him.
Concerning circumcision, since it was mentioned, is similar to other command in the OT. God gives different commands at different times, for different reasons. Many of these commands in the OT were to be a foreshadow of something else to come. Jesus didn't come to change all those rules, but the purpose of many of those rules were fulfilled with the coming of Christ, and the birth of the church.
You asked why Paul said what he did in 1 Timothy 2:12. Keep reading and he explains it. 1 Timothy 2:13-14 KJV — For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Women are more easily deceived than men. And men more easily give in to doing wrong if asked to do so by women. So, one reason to have men in leadership in church is to help prevent false teaching in the church. And most times I have seen churches with female pastors, they teach that certain sins are okay, and that church goes along with it. Not allowing women in leadership isn't just an anti-female rule, but its saying men are weak and less likely to stand up for truth in that situation. This is why most churches will not allow women in leadership. Because if you are not following the scriptures, then you are just making it up as you go.
Yes, there are horrifying stories, I guess I read your comment differently than you meant it.