Crazy Ideas

Maybe a Star Wars actor will win

Ok, so you open up a new service. People drop their dogs off to be walked for them.

Then, that service advertises that you can volunteer to walk a dog.

So now you got people paying you to walk a dog. They show up, and a blind person accepts the dog to be walked. And you in turn get someone else to walk the dog for free, with the promise that you get to hang out with a dog for a few hours.

And then, at night, the blind people who work the front desk get into a boxing ring, and you run a gambling service on which blind boxer will win.

So now when the people come to pick up their dogs, you have the blind guy ask if they want to buy a ticket to see them in a boxing match. And because they're blind, most people would feel bad, and buy the $20 admission. Even if they don't attend.

Now, my only concern at this point is figuring out how not to pay the blind boxers. If I can do that, you'd have a business with no labor overhead, and 100% profit.

theres just not enough slapstick in my life

New posts should be in a general, catch-all section. OP could suggest a community/tag but it wouldn’t appear there right away. Other users can tag the post for a particular community or label it SPAM/Troll/Abuse.

If enough users tag a post for a community, it shows up in that community feed.

New users can’t tag until they reach a threshold of comments/posts that are positively received—not SPAM, has upvotes, replies.

This will enforce a level of moderation even when the community mods have ghosted.

There would be no cross-posting per se. Posts could be tagged for multiple communities but must reach a certain amount of tags for each community before it appears there.

And the price? So good, it's to die for!

Metformin tastes horrible, which is a problem I think this could solve

I may be a little high

I know damn well what I wrote.

Saw Superman at the theater the other day and decided the best thing about the 'theatre experience' was the commitment

imagine getting matching ones for each pet you have and by the time im like 80 (if I live past my 20s that is) I light up a vet scanner like a Christmas tree.

"Tonight on QUEEF WATCH! We take a look at various queefs across the city, and ask bartenders if they can identify their patrons by the sound of their queef!

cut to clip

queef noise

"That was Laura."

queef noise

"That was Britney."

queef noise

"That was Abby."

"And later on the show, we'll be interviewing three generations of women. A woman, a daughter, and a grand daughter to find out which generation has the superior queef!"

"Wouldn't all of them be daughters though? Every woman is SOMEBODIES daughter..."

"Well, yeah, but I said it like that so you got a sense of the generations"

"Yeah, I get that, but it's still a weird thing to say. It distracts more than it attracts."

queef noise

"That was Amber."

So what you do is you stand on the side of the road, in a cardboard box/lemonaid stand, and it's painted with a sign that says "Join cult here".

Then you go on to tell everyone who's interested in joining that you'd be interested in taking over their daily autonomy, so that you may control what they think, what they do, when they pee, when they sleep, you control their wallet, you control their sex life, their love life, their marriage, everything. You control every aspect of their life, and all they have to do is obey and worship.

Then you hand them a clipboard with an application and a pen on a chain.

At no point do you try to deceive them. You openly tell them that your intentions are to abuse them, take their money, and have them worship false idols, namely you, while you take advantage of them and their family for the rest of their lives. Which if history has taught us anything, will probably end in a mass suicide in some sort of religious ritual.

Then just amass an army of people who joined for whatever reason. What could go wrong?

Sponsered by Tyson chicken. And Mike Tyson punches Neil every time he makes a point. But Neil defends Pluto not being a planet anymore after every point he makes.

C'mon Adult Swim! Greenlight this idea! It wouldn't be the first time you had Mike Tyson on a crazy ass show on your network!

would be pretty funny

Actual genuine tutorial video on how to do car maintenance. It's an actual real tutorial on how to change your oil, and spark plugs. But then the instructor takes off his pants, and has sex with the woman who brought her car in for servicing. And the other customers waiting in the lobby start playing cheesy saxophone music.

And then the pizza delivery guy enters to deliver a hot and ready sausage.

Do you really think you'd get this kind of experience just going to the library??? I mean sure, maybe you find a book....and yeah, the book may teach you the same things. But then what about the sex? I mean maybe you find a sexy librarian, and maybe she has some sexy glasses and a knee high tight skirt, and suspenders......and maybe the other people in the library start playing cheesy saxophone music BUT THEN SHE SHUSH'S THEM!!!!

you could have a saw fingernail for cutting wood, a file fingernail for fileing, a razor fingernail for cutting, and an axe fingernail for chopping your wood.
the design is very human 🥰