Crazy Ideas

Ok, so here's what you do.

Step 1) You take out a sketchpad. You come up with concept art for an outfit/costume you can wear to parties. This costume is not something based on other influences. It's not something that's kind of like something else. It's not something that you'd say "Oh, this would belong on this tv show, or movie". It's completely unique. It stands out. It has a presence all in it's own. You wear it, and it looks good on you, and people remember the outfit. If Spiderman were real, and he just showed up to a party, you'd be like "Whoa, look at THAT guy!". Your costume doesn't need a mask, and in fact would probably be way better without a mask. Just a guy/girl at a party, doing their thing, and completely stealing the show just by being there. That's step 1. Buckle up, because it only gets crazier from here.

Step B) Hire about 10 people to walk everywhere with you. Like an entourage. Have them basically simp you in public. Except the idea is that nobody knows they're paid actors. From the general publics point of view, you're just some guy at a party, and these people love you for some undefined reason.

Step ∆) Now you release T-Shirts of you. And your simps all have the released T-Shirt on. And now you also hire another 10-100 actors. These ones will NOT hang around you as if they're in your circle. These new actors just spread out amongst the party. And they too are also wearing your new T-Shirt. So now there's 10 people all wearing the same shirt, all following you around, and another 10-100 people all single, and drifting about the party, all wearing that shirt. So now it looks like your inner circle love you, but so do the general public. And these shirts can be purchased for $80 each.

Now do this same set of steps every weekend, at every party, and really fuck with peoples perception of what the fuck is going on? All these people bought an $80 T-shirt for some guy? What is happening right now, and also, who IS that guy? You could also adopt a stupid show name, like Princess StinkyPooButt. Even though you're a 6'1 250lb guy with a beard and no legs.

And now the question becomes: "Will idiots buy an $80 T-shirt of absolutely nothing?"

As I look around the world today, I see a lot of idiots. I like my chances that I'm going to sell some stupidly overpriced T-Shirts of bullshit.

It would show one of the Cox internet installation technicians as he has various shots of him doing his job, but also talking to the camera. He's the traditional image of what women want is. He's like 6'5, 320lbs of muscle.

"Here at Cox, we've been installing more homes with Cox high speed internet service, and connecting more people to the web. That means more photos, more videos, more video games, and more connections all across the county! With services like Zoom video conferencing more Cox customers are able to work from home than ever before. Bringing more people together by putting Cox services inside your home, inside your life, and inside of you. With an entire internet to explore, billions of websites, apps, home automation, and so much more. With so many pricing options, won't you let us put our Cox inside you?"

Then it cuts to two other Cox techs out by the van outside, getting a ladder. And the one guy says "Is Tom hard at work in there?" and the other guy replies "He literally might be..."

Look at a map. Look right above Michigan. See that splotch of land right above Michigan? Yeah....that's ALSO Michigan. It looks like it should be Wisconsin on account of how obvious it is. But no. Michigan is just like "This is also ours because we lost a war to Ohio and so now we need a consolation prize."

Who the fuck did Wisconsin piss off to allow THAT SHIT??? Oh, just because we're not officially a state yet, you're taking our territory away??? The damn paperwork was already being drawn up with maps that CLEARLY included that land....because, obviously!

But noooooooooo! Michigan just had to be like "WAAAAH, WE WANTED OHIOS LAND AND LOST, SO NOW WE WANT THIS OTHER LAND INSTEAD!!!"

And the Wisconsin territory is supposed to just be like "Oh, yeah, cool cool cool."

So I say, fight back! But, raising an army is hard and expensive. Plus, I don't even know if there even stands a current protocol to follow for raising a regional military. Does that even exist anymore? So for the sake of not being accused of inciting violence, for the rest of this message, this war will be a TICKLE WAR!!!!

Yeah! Wisconsin needs to gather all their citizens, and grab their feathers, because it's time to tickle michigan!!! Make em giggle like little bitches!!! And then you get the land back! Then maps can stop looking stupid. There should never be a time that a map salesman should have to say "No, that actually is the official border. Nope, not a mistake."

Where you can walk on a treadmill while watching a movie

Ok, so......I was just watching some youtube videos, right? Turns out gorillas are amazing. The gorillas at your zoo remember you. They act different around zoo regulars. They enjoy seeing the regulars, as if they're friends. They can tell the difference between a child actually crying as opposed to a child PRETEND to cry. They get worried when their regulars children are crying for real. It stresses them, because they're behind a glass wall, and can't comfort the child. They put their hand against the glass as if to show they want to be there for the crying child. But if the "crying child" were just faking, the gorillas would sense it was fake, and they'd play and roll around. As if to be part of the fun. So gorillas are really smart who understand the world they're seeing. They have empathy. They see life the way people do.

And dolphins are some of the other smartest creatures on earth. They have sex for the pleasure of it, rather than the mating, and are some of the only creatures on earth known to be smart enough to experience that. So they'll rape you. Make of that what you will.

And then I watched a video of a cat, on an airplane, looking out the window. But the video sucked, because the cat had no concept of what it was looking at when it looked out the window. It was just like "uhhhh.....ok? Some patchy green stuff. Great moving painting. Why are you showing me this?

But I'm thinking, what if we brought a gorilla and a dolphin onto an airplane? I don't even know HOW you get the dolphin to be able to see outside. Maybe it's a custom built airplane with the whole lower half being transparent, and serves as a water tank for the dolphin? I guess?

But the gorilla could just look out the window.

See these are the kinds of science experiments we need to be conducting. Someone contact FOX. I'm sure we could/should film this. Alternatively, hey PBS.....wanna get weird?

You KNOW you gotta see the look on the gorillas face when it realizes "Wait......how the fuck are we this high up??? WHAT is happening right now???"

Even better if you could do that thing where they nosedive and do the zero gravity thing.

Wait......should we bring a gorilla and a dolphin into SPACE??? HEY NASA!!! WHO WANTS TO DO ENOUGH DRUGS TO MAKE THIS IDEA SOUND GOOD ENOUGH TO GREENLIGHT???

Woman: You see her? You think she's pretty?

Guy: Hmmm?

"Do you think she's pretty?"

"I guess.....why?"

"So, you think she's prettier than me?"

"Do I think she's prettier than you......hmmmmm, let me see your butt."

"What?"

"I gotta compare butts."

"You have to compare butts.....to know if she's prettier than me?"

"Well, yeah. How would you YOU judge it?"

"Self depricatingly! Obviously!"

"That's because you can't see your own butt."

"Huh?"

"It's behind you. It's a great butt, but you never see it."

"What's so special about my butt?"

"Here, bend over a second. Let me show you something."

"Ok....."

"You feel this? This is a nice thick curve. It's got some juicyness to it, and right here---no no, don't straighten up. Stay like this. A man is explaining your own worth to you now."

"A man...."

"Yes, that's right. Don't worry, you don't need to be observant, which means to notice things. You're pretty. That means you don't need to think, or even notice how pretty you are. You'll still be treated nice."

"I.....what?"

"Shhhhhhhh, don't ruin it by talking."

And THAT is how you get women to stop being self conscious about if they're pretty enough, and START a whole new fight about if you think they're smart. Then, you just let them win a few arguements of being smart, which creates confidence within them. And that ends their internal need to prove themselves to you, because now they feel smart AND pretty.

And now you're not fighting. Or maybe you are. I'm single and don't understand life. It sounds like a solid plan though.

You know like those liquid honey dispensers? I would buy the shit out of this.

Middle of night woke up just to write this somewhere. Sorry is words are bad.

Game that's 2 player.

Player one is in a 3rd person fully emersive 3D city. This is a PC game. Player one is always host. The objective is just to make it to the other end of the city. No guns or anything. The city is being destroyed by a mysterious force. Plans are crashing building being leveled you just need to make it to safety without being crushed. It's night, theres fire and screaming, explosions all around scary stuff.

Player 2 is playing on a tablet or touch screen device. They are playing a cute game where all you need to do is tap the dot. The dot moves slowly from one end of the screen to the other hiding under colorful pipes and squares. You can also tap butterflies and things the dot might hide under to remove them. There is a lot of positive happy noises.

The dot is player one. The real catch. Player 2 is a cat.

i think it would incentivize engagement and reduce misjudgments and it could go something like this

• if you open a post then your upvote or downvote counts as 2 votes

• if you check ops profile as well then your vote counts as 3

• maybe also something about following links too idk

obviously this would be problematic to implement on the dev side and it would certainly be abused but thats why im posting it in this community i just had an idea and thought id share

It's a movie about Keenan and Kel working at Good Burger in their mid 40s. They have mental trauma so they regularly call radio psyciatrist Fraiser Krane.

Keenan and Kel never meet Fraiser, but half the movie is Keenan and Kel, and half the movie is Fraiser. They're regular callers, and screaming in agony in the world that is 2025.

I am NOT ok with music in the 90s being refered to as "oldies". Oasis is NOT oldies!!!

So it's these little GPS enabled robots the size of a marble. You stick them up your butt, and then they walk around, and map your insides, sending real time data and imaging to your doctor.

And they're programmed to do all sorts of stuff. Like if you can't poop, these things find the source of the blockage, and carry small chunks of poop and dump them in the toilet, before marching back up to complete their big brown business.

And they search for tumors inside you. They could even tattoo QR codes inside your bowels with a link back to a 20% off chipotle coupon, so when your doctor is rooting around in there, he can get lunch.

Person - Nick Jagger.

Place - Las Angeles.

Thing - Lawnmover.

And then Pat Sajak just acts like it's spelled right. "WHAT'DYA MEAN IT'S NOT NICK JAGGER??? HE'S THE SINGER FROM THE ROLLING STONED!"

Let's change the law to bring back the old Germanic tradition of judicial trial by combat. But make it specific to consumer and labor rights disputes. Got a beef with a company? Forget binding arbitration. You can now challenge the CEO to a one-on-one sword fight. The battle will be decided....by the blade! Legally speaking, we'll just assume the fight is in God's hands, and whatever the consumer rights or labor dispute in question, the side that survives is the automatic winner.

Idiocracy: Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Terry Crews

Back To The Future: Christopher Lloyd, Michael J. Fox

I'm sure more actors could join this effort as well. Even though they were only actors, they got to study the theories of time travel and how events of one time affect future events.

I'm half serious here, if anyone can reach out to these former actors in the context of time travel, please toss them the idea of reaching out to the current world leaders (and even citizens), to point out how they're fucking everything up in a hurry, and more importantly how to start trying to resolve the problems...

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074042/

i love this show, and it feels like she could throw a little columbo-like faux ignorance in for giggles. lots of death, it could stand for a tad more humor.