Stop Drinking

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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.

We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.

Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.

founded 2 years ago
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1
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

2
 
 

I mentioned in a comment that I would do a post about sleep, so here you are.

Among its many, many other impacts, alcohol impacts your sleep horribly. Your body, instead of using its downtime to do cell repair and everything else, is pulling its resources to your liver to process the poison you've consumed.

Fixing sleep is a process, it's not a one and done. If you cut the booze and immediately start sleeping like a baby, you are very lucky, and lean into that, because everything is better with a good night's sleep behind you.

This is what I did. Some of this stuff involves spending money (weighted blanket, diffuser and oils, blackout curtains), but those are the "nice to have" items, not the essentials. I got a bit obsessive in the first month or two, because I didn't want to get into "can't sleep, I'll just have a glass of wine to take the edge off", but I'm a bit more relaxed about it now because I didn't want to get into a headspace where I can't sleep unless I did all the things.

For me, planning for sleep starts at lunchtime, which is when I stop drinking coffee or anything else with caffeine in it. I avoid sugary "processed" drinks most of the time anyway, but I make a point of not drinking those after about 4pm.

I'm also fairly active, I cycle between 100 and 120 miles a week, and on the days I don't cycle to work it's a mile and a bit walk to the Tube station, a mile and a bit back in the evening. I usually try to get out and walk round the park at lunchtime. If I'm working from home I'll go out in the evening after work. I do a weights workout three times a week.

this is all timed for being in bed by 10PM.

I put all electronics into "night" mode at 9:30pm, which is my cue to stop looking at the electronics and start my winding down for bed routine, rather than an excuse to keep staring at the screens.

Night routine is:

  • drink a mug of sleepy tea

  • Clean teeth, do facial skincare routine

  • pyjamas

  • close curtains (I have blackout ones)

  • switch on an electronic diffuser that's loaded with a sleepy blend of oils

  • switch bedside alarm lamp to sunset mode, where it gradually dims to a tiny nightlight glow

  • get into bed, under weighted blanket

  • put phone out of reach but start a sleep meditation session (all the apps like Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer offer free versions)

  • My bedside alarm goes off at the same time every morning, even at weekends. It has a sunrise setting so half an hour before I'm due to wake up, it starts getting brighter and brighter, and then it plays birdsong at me.

  • When it's hot, I have a fan set up in the hallway outside my room so it's not right in the room being noisy, but I still get the air moving (I live on my own, so having my bedroom door open at night is fine).

  • If I wake in the night, or if I can't get to sleep, I lie there with my eyes closed, recognising that even if I'm not sleeping, I'm still resting. I don't reach for my phone and start scrolling through. If it is within half an hour of my normal wake up time, I get up and start the day.

  • I don't do lie-ins, once I'm awake for the day, I'm up and out of bed.

That sorted it for me, but if it hadn't worked, I'd have looked at herbal sleep remedies, if those hadn't worked, I'd have talked to a pharmacist for advice, and if what they had suggested didn't work, I'd have gone to my GP.

Some of the stuff in the list above involves spending money if you don't have them already (diffuser, oils, weighted blanket, blackout curtains, fancy alarm with sunrise/sunset setting). Fortunately, those are the "nice to haves" not the essentials. Sleepy teas are mostly cheap, although it might involve a small investment to find ones you like.

The important thing is that you start the routine at the same time each night, you start giving your body cues to wind down, you go to sleep in a room that's as dark as possible, you wake up at the same time each day. It takes time, it's not a one and done deal, it involves investing time and effort in yourself and recognising that even if one night is a "failure" you're probably sleeping more than you think you are, and that even just lying in bed with your eyes closed means you're still recuperating, and you try again tomorrow.

3
 
 

This has been nurdling round in my brain for a bit, then I heard one of Belle Robertson's one minute audios that really helped clarify it.

Sober supports/tools can b split into five categories. You don't have to jump in with both feet and do all the things (although I do recommend doing food and sleep every day), but if your sobriety starts feeling a bit rocky, can you add in a new support? don't try harder, try different.

connection/group/you're not alone in this:

listening to sober audios/podcasts

face to face meetings, zoom meetings

reading other sober stuff (newsletters, blog, quit lit)

Self-soothing (calm calm calm things)

Going to bed (there's nothing like being under the duvet, in your pyjamas with your teeth cleaned for stopping a booze run)

Time with pets

treats

nice alcohol-free drinks

Treats planned in advance - bath, haircut, cookies

change the channel in your head

Music

A TV show/movie that you will get into

Going for a run/walk/bike ride

Yoga

Prayer, meditation

Self-care (these can blur into self-soothing, but to me, self-care items are the basics you need to stay alive)

Food

Shower

Exercise

Sleep

Accountability

Sober coach

addiction counsellor

Sponsor

Therapist

apps (in my first month, the knowledge that I'd have to reset three different trackers, and that I couldn't be arsed, kept me sober more than once).

I find cravings can be addressed with HALT the BS

am I Hungry Angry Lonely Tired or Thirsty Bored Stressed or Sad

if I work out which one of the above applies, and address that, then cravings will typically disappear.

4
 
 

Thought I would share some of the recommended quit lit and resources out there. This is not exhaustive - feel free to share any that worked for you!

  • This Naked Mind, Annie Grace
  • Alcohol Explained, William Porter
  • Quit Like a Woman, Holly Whitaker
  • Numerous books by Allen Carr

Huberman Labs Podcast: https://hubermanlab.com/what-alcohol-does-to-your-body-brain-health/

5
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

6
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

7
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

8
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

9
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

10
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

11
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

12
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

13
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

14
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

15
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

16
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

17
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

18
 
 

This really surprised me. I had been experiencing major gastrointestinal issues for years while I was drinking, and my doctor said it was lactose intolerance. I cut out dairy entirely and it helped a little, but I had diharrea every day regardless and nothing helped. I'm happy to report that after getting sober I can now drink milk, eat cheese, and enjoy a milkshake without any side effects whatsoever. I suspect it's something to do with my gut microbiome or whatever it's called.

Figured this might be a tiny sliver of hope for some folks, so I wanted to share. IWNDWYT!

19
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

20
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

21
 
 

I have struggles with PTSD. Some very terrible things have been done to me by people I loved and trusted.

I can be very distracted during the day. I have a very active mind, lots of coping mechanisms and most of the time I’m fine. But it’s trying to sleep that is impossible.

Weed can help, but there’s this pain that hits late at night. It’s crushing. Weed will quiet flashbacks, will help me get to the point that my parasympathetic nervous can kick in and I don’t feel afraid and hyper vigilant, but it can only sometimes help the pain.

Drinking helps. It’s making me sick at this point but I don’t know how else to cope with the black pit of despair. Doomscrolling and drinking all night at least stops the rumination.

And so I pay for help with this and see the therapists I can. There’s barely any options for therapy and I try to journal and do all of the things but it just doesn’t help when I feel like my heart is bleeding out and I need to sleep.

It feels almost physical, a gaping wound that needs a beer to hold it together.

22
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

23
129
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml to c/stopdrinking@lemmy.world
 
 

I know this sub isn't very active, but I don't have accounts anywhere else, so here goes . . .

I don't want to get into details right now, but my wife has made me promise to divorce her if I ever drink again . . . my heart is broken for the pain I have caused her to get us to this point.

I feel so stupid that this isn't the first time I've been here, either. I feel so stupid saying "this time it's for real," because we all know what to expect when an alcoholic says that :(

In terms of quantity, I've actually been drinking much less the past few years, but I think the infrequency might even be making my "mistakes" even worse when they happen :( So I don't have the excuse of infrequency. I can truly never drink again, and I'm so afraid I'm going to mess it up. I have CPTSD with terrible emotional flashbacks, and I'm afraid I'll lose control during one of them and ruin my marriage once and for all :(

So this is me, I'm here to join the stopdrinking community. Any encouragement, stories or advice you can give would be most welcome. Thank you.

Edit: Wow, thank you for the outpouring of support! I can't reply to all of your comments, but know that I've read and treasure them!

24
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

25
 
 

Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT, 😁!

We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we’re here together!

Welcome to the 24 hour pledge! I’m pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.

Maybe you’re new to c/stop drinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you’re like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you’ve been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.

It doesn’t matter if you’re still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, let’s not drink alcohol!

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