I have so many: Thinking that Obama becoming the US president will make the world better (I'm not an American).

Thinking that with merits/education I can move out from poverty.

Thinking that cops are there for our collective safety and can be trusted.

Thinking the welfare state exists for the betterment of peoples lives.

Thinking my singular vote changes things, being all emotional about getting to vote in a democracy and it having an impact.

Thinking Nordic social democracy could regulate capitalism.

Seeing the winter war valid in my country. Agreeing that we weren't nazis, but a secret third thing somehow. Considering joining the army.

Thinking that communism is an utopia.

Thinking that the society I live in would opt for solidarity in an emergency (covid). Trusting that people would not get left behind, things would be run with people first and not profit. Oh lol...

What has broken me over time is climate change and how it is not addressed, imperialism & colonialism, covid, neurodiversity and my lived experience in this system as a poor audhd woman who never did fit in or whose ideas of material social justice were always framed as childish or utopistic. I am thankful I got curious to find out why that is.