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this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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Sorry for the late response. I was out of town and wanted to give the server a chance to catch up just in case.
I am running this on a bespoke stack:
For all the communities with 1 subscriber (me), they have not gone from "pending" to "joined" yet, so I am worried there is some issue with establishing communication between the instances.
If you are getting pending to every server you try, your proxy (typically nginx) config might be the problem. You should maybe try some of the curl test to federation endpoints from an outside box and see if something isn't blocking the connection.