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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by blueskiesoc@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Thank you Nome @NomedaBarbarian

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 33 points 1 year ago

I think I can confidently say that I have habits. I am ADHD, and I have habits. Not good habits like brushing my teeth, or chores or anything...

No. My habits are either useless, or actively detrimental. Things like chewing my finger nails, or self-soothing behaviors like when I rub my feet together (drives my SO nuts). Stuff like that which I do subconsciously.

Everything else requires some measure of effort to get to doing.... Usually when I'm in the process of getting something done, it's far easier to see it through to conclusion, vs. Getting started....

Habits doesn't and shouldn't imply that the habits are good. Things I consider habitual now are a result of many years of doing the same things over and over in the same way with a consistent result...

[-] charllthomas@mstdn.games 3 points 1 year ago

@MystikIncarnate @blueskiesoc but then, as you describe they are self-soothing - are they habits, or are they stims?

[-] blueskiesoc@lemmy.world -4 points 1 year ago

So you're saying if you didn't have bad habits, you'd have no habits at all. I'll see myself out.

this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
617 points (88.1% liked)

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