Autism

I need to trim my beard and shave my head. I don't like getting hair in my mouth, ears, or nose.

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Does anyone else sort their stuff into euro boxes on shelves? I've put NFC tags on them to make it easier to relabell them.

Here have some bread.

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I just feel honestly really scared, going back to school has so far sucked bombed all three of my test 1s, already falling behind. Between this and target I just feel so overwhelmed, I don't know what I want at all, bit just to feel like I don't need to run every single day, or rest fof long periods of time if I need to, SSDI would be nice but that's only 950, things I enjoy I would have to give up like driving, given my insurance is horrible. I just feel incredibly sad, posting this, rolling over, knowing when my alarm goes off, I'll need to get dressed and drive to target, just to repeat the same stressful expersize I did the other day, I'll get home aware I have class at 8am, I'm not even sure what to do now, IT was bust, I already have a degree no job, I'm just so burnt out. I'm so tired.

Let's start things out right. Nope that didn't work.

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These are the FM20 headphones by FIO MOTUS, my mom ordered these off Amazon. And I had to get them in my favorite color, purple.

They fit comfortably on my head, and even though I feel like I have a big head, I didn't have extend them much at all for them to fit.

The sound quality is great. These are actually good noise cancelling, which is great because I live by myself in an apartment complex and the walls are thin. And I'm currently watching tv whilst wearing them and I cant hear anything else.

And they charge fast: apparently 10 minutes of charging can give you 12 hours of playtime. We'll see how true that rings, but so far I am enjoying my new headphones.

I bought this tub not realizing how big 12 quarts is. Damn you Ken Forkish!

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Aggie giving me the side eye.

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They're unkind at us, mock us, glare at us when we stimmer...

Switching schools. Thought maybe masking my autism would do good for finally having friends.

Here's what I did:

1- Sit on the third line: not too much back, not too much on the front;

2- Get pretty. Bracelets, jacket...

3- Watch them talk and imitate what they talk about when they talk to you.

Well, didn't go this well. Still getting ignored (I like to joke with my brother that "Neurotypicals have autism detectors").

Where did I miss it? I tried joining some conversations I heard, but they were pretty unkind at me after that.

Hazel likes to help me make my coffee.

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The cats have been fed.

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I remove all of my hair as often as possible. I find I simply cannot function properly while I have hair.

This extends to anything uncomfortable, bad fabrics, etc. I do not like any smells either.

Let me explain. So, we all know these For Dummies books, right? Like Cooking For Dummies, Calculus For Dummies, Microsoft Office For Dummies, Chess for Dummies, etc.

Well, when I was nine years old, a Hispanic man who was a family friend, gifted me this Spanish For Dummies book. Because I was nine and literally the only Spanish I knew was the basic spanish words I picked up from watching Dora and Diego on Nick Jr. So I knew how to say "¡Hola! ¿Como estas usted?" and count to ten in Spanish but that was basically it.

So the man gifted me this book in hopes it could help me learn more about Spanish.

So I told him "Thank you, gracias", but then I saw the title of the book: Spanish For Dummies.

Nine year old me was confused. "Dummies"? I asked, "But I am not a dummy". I never heard of these kinds of books before now, and I seriously thought he was trying to subtly but also not-so-subtly tell me he thought I was stupid.

But the man and my mom said to me "Wait no, that's not what that means!"

But I was still confused. "Why are you giving me a book for Dummies? Do you think I'm dumb"? And I was sincerely offended.

And the man said to my mom "I am so sorry, I didn't expect this to be her reaction. I thought she would be happy."

But my mom responded "Come to think of it, I don't think she's ever heard of these books, so she may just be confused . I'll keep the book and maybe let's just wait until she's a little older".

So after the man left, my mom asked me "You've never heard of the For Dummies books, have you?"

And I was shocked: "BOOKS‽You mean to tell me there are more books like these calling people stupid??"

And then my mom chuckled and said to me "No, they're not actually calling you stupid. 'For Dummies' is just meant to be a tongue-in-cheek, sorta playful way of saying that these books can help you learn more about whatever topic you want to learn about, and it's so easy to understand that you can have zero prior knowledge and this book can help you. So like, you go in as a dummy, so to speak. The title is meant to be a joke."

So yeah, I didn't get diagnosed with ADHD til a year later when I was 10, and then it took til i was 19 to get my autism diagnosis but I feel like this book could have served as a sign that "my brain isn't quite like others".

But anyone else used to find these books offensive?

Crossposted from https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/64470729

It’s called Evil Autism, because it’s a space based on the old subreddit that was so fun back in the day. Please join and help make this new space feel like another safe space for those of who are ND. I hope to see you there!

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I'm now off call. Yay.

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Millie is watching.

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