okmatewanker

The thing about a phall is that it's not, like, a real dish. It's the item they put on the menu for pricks who just want to be a hard man and "order the hottest thing on the menu". It's just an invitation for the chef to make you something inedible as a punishment for your hubris, but that also means it's not usually a very nice actual curry.

If you want a very hot curry that is still an actual tasty curry, vindaloo is generally your man.

Vindaloo is based loosely on a Goan dish of the same name, but like all of them the British version bares only a passing resemblance to its authentic relative (which really has more in common with the Bangladeshi style of cooking).

You maniac! Make sure you have a spare toilet on standby.

Have you had a vindaloo? That's not for the unwary. I remember a night out in Brum where we went to a curry house. The Indian guys ordered vindaloos and some of the more inebriated in the party got over-enthusiastic and also ordered it. I've never seen so much suffering in a restaurant - I thought the waiters might have to bring out buckets to catch all the sweat. Never seen anyone try a phall (can't recall going anywhere that offered it in decades as it is more of a challenge curry) but I am reliably-informed that it looks like the final scenes in Indiana Jones. Probably.