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bit of a warning but this is a very sad, pathetic and hopeless post. If you're easily made sad you might wanna sit this one out.

avpd is my own personal hell. Its destroying/destroyed my life. I have 2 "friends" I hardly talk to. Dropped out of college. No real prospects. I was born privileged and have just wasted it. I'm a failure. A husk of a person. I've never been on a single date. I'm just sitting here spinning my wheels. And the wheels aren't really spinning anymore. I'm so desperately lonely, but I just... can't. I don't even know how I'd meet people, if I could step out. I'm so lonely, and sad and FUCK being a social creature. What a cruel joke. A social creature that has a fucking personality disorder so they avoid socializing. WHAT THE FUCK. And this shit's permanent. Its who I am. Sure I can "cope" better but I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING COPE I WANT TO BE NORMAL WTF. I WANT TO BE LOVED AND LOVE PEOPLE AND I JUST CAN'T. ITS TOO DAMN HARD.

suicideI just wish I could die. I can't take this. I'm such a waste. Being alive is too painful as an anti social, social being.

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[-] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 21 points 5 months ago

don't worry about waste, most of life in neoliberal capitalism is a waste. fuck you gonna do, work your ass off to put money in some empty suit's pocket so he can buy another ivory back-scratcher and spend half of the pittance he pays you to be extorted by some leech just to have shelter?

and fuck normal too, "normal" people made this shithole. anybody who ever tried to improve things somewhat had to fight tooth and claw through a reactionary army of "normal" to do it.

there's no immediate solution to alienation, the only advice people ever have is to go out and deliberately get hurt over and over again. I can't do it and i won't tell you to either.

[-] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

fuck you gonna do, work your ass off

Work a job that can support me cri find a SO who loves me cri those things seem quite nice thonk-cri

meow-hug Thank you for your words of support

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 4 points 5 months ago

What kind of work would you like to do?

Though my specifics are different, I relate very much to the way you feel, and this has been something I've been wrestling to get my head and heart around for a while: maybe one of the worst things in the world is how mental health struggles can convince some of the most caring and wonderful people, like you and @FourteenEyes@hexbear.net and I guess maybe even me, that they're unlovable or failing at life.

I think maybe your heart is a better measure of your worth than your accomplishments as a person struggling with disability in this hellscape. Just surviving is a big deal, and somehow managing to not let all the terribleness in the world and in your life turn you into a selfish, bitter husk is pretty amazing. ❤️

cuddle

[-] JohnBrownNote@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

What kind of work would you like to do?

not OP but i haven't found anything that doesn't make me hate being alive after a few weeks.

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

honestly, same - self-employed rn but even this sucks ass because idk how to balance things and just end up hyperfocusing until I burn out, then rinse and repeat

[-] the_itsb@hexbear.net 6 points 5 months ago

goddamn, I needed this comment, too ❤️ thank you

this post was submitted on 13 May 2024
37 points (100.0% liked)

neurodiverse

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What is Neurodivergence?

It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc

“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”

So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned


Rules

1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them

2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence

2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals

3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.

3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith

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