In order for the Fediverse to succeed, we need well-moderated instances that aren't afraid of defederating from the badly moderated instances. As you say, you've had death threats from Hexbear users for instance. If the Fediverse is to succeed, we can't have all users go through that, so we need a strong core of instances that defederates from such instances.

That means that we need users to choose to go to the well-moderated instances and that hopefully will not be a difficult choice.

So what I'm saying is that you going to a better moderated instance is not incompatible with the success of the Fediverse - in fact it is basically required for its success.