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this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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No Stupid Questions
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No such thing. Ask away!
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It's okay to be direct a little bit.
"You don't wash the mushrooms? It says on the package, man, they might have poop or pesticide or whatever else."
"Okay, well if I'm gonna be eating them can I wash them? I'll make 'em up, man, I'm not telling you what to do. But I don't wanna eat anything that's on them that might be bad for me. I would prefer not to at least."
I don't know, you can adapt the language, or stay away from the whole conversation if it really feels wrong. But usually if there's an issue it's better to say what the issue is even if it's a little uncomfortable. You're not making a problem or starting a confrontation, it's just saying what's on your mind and sharing. Otherwise you don't really have friends and allies, just sort of alien people you're going through the motions with while you each harbor your own little secret thoughts all through the evening.
When we make something about the other person, telling them that they are wrong and, in this case, even disgusting, they are going to get offended and be less amendable to seeing your side and helping you out. They may get shamed into doing it, but I think this damages the relationship.
Just make it about yourself
"Hey, Im a bit squeamish about unwashed veggies. Do you mind if I rinse them for you?"
Gets the same point across, but makes it about yourself rather than the other person, so they have no reason to be defensive. They will also be more likely to open up to changing.