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What is this spider?
(slrpnk.net)
Let us help you identify that mysterious object you’ve found.
Currently in CHALLENGE mode: If you've got something obscure knocking about, post a picture, and let's see how we do. Please prefix such posts with "CHALLENGE:" so we know we've got a fighting chance.
Yup, that's a giant house spider. No kidding, that's the vernacular name of the species, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giant_house_spider. Formerly filed under the tegenaria genus, now its own genus.
They're comically large and terror-inducing, but not aggressive. And they keep out more aggressive species too.