Holy shit, it's real:
https://votegearoutlet.com/product/original-i-know-an-unsucked-dick-hate-to-see-me-coming-shirt/

Archive:
https://archive.is/8OBvZ

CW for possible transphobic bullshit in the sidebar recs; they're clearly trying to pull a here

Edit: OP left off the product description, which is possibly the best part.

So, I am wearing something new everyday. I feel fresh and exiting. Also don’t forget the Original I Know An Unsucked Dick Hate To See Me Coming Shirt so you should to go to store and get this messages and drawing on T-shirts. That’s made it special. If you want to wear a long t-shirt in a stylish way, pair it with leggings or skinny jeans. You can also knot the t-shirt at the waist or wear it off-the-shoulder for a more trend-forward look. Er…well, this American does. I wear T-shirts frequently, because they’re comfortable. They’re very commonly worn in the US. I expect most Americans would have reason to refer to them at some point, even if they don’t wear T-shirts themselves. To me, San Francisco based designers Nice Collective make some of the best, interesting and at times innovative t shirt styles in fashion today.