I went into more detail in this comment. Can't pull exact quotes as I left the group chat because I was tired of constantly causing arguments, so this is the best of my recollection.

Also once friend A was feeling guilty because he was enjoying the weather even though it was the side effect of a natural disaster. I didn't know this at the time, I was talking with friend B who was encouraging me to vent about my family.

I wasn't being treated for my OCD and was a paranoid pain in the ass and kept asking why it was OK, when last time I was told that venting about my family was insulting to friend A. Friend A saw this conversation and immediately posted "I know the real reason you're mad at me—" (I wasn't mad) "—it's because I'm a colonizer!"

I don't pick up on these things and spent the next several weeks trying to figure out why my question insinuated he's a colonizer, and how to ask things without calling people colonizers.

Like some examples I could give just sound really weird if you weren't there. And that's just one where I eventually picked up on what actually went wrong. Mostly I just look back on old arguments and I'm really confused and I wouldn't be surprised if they sound like word salad when I try to describe them.