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what do you do when you feel doubts?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Transfem
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When that happens, I think of aging. I notice that I would dread aging as a man but I am fine with aging to be an old lady.
I do feel like ageing will somehow rob me of my gender, since being a woman feels so tied up in being pretty and having a man's body puts so much pressure on doing everything you can to lean into being pretty so you won't be confused for a man. Being old will texture my skin and make it harder to appear as a woman, but maybe it won't be such a big deal.
Either way, another one that struck me was that I thought I had body dysmorphia and just hated being fat, but what I realized one day is that actually I hated the male pattern fat distribution on my body, and I wouldn't mind feminine fat distribution even if it made me not skinny, etc. Recognizing there was a gendered lens to my body hatred was a shock to me.
hey the fat distrubution thing is relateable to me too. I think getting old while on hrt would be good enough to not "get robbed off my gender"
yes, especially at your age - most of the androgenization of my body happened when I was in my 20s, so preventing that would be massive!! It can be harder for us trans-laters, but I still think most of us recognize it's worth it. Honestly, I couldn't even give myself the hope of being a woman in the world, my transition goals were / are oriented around things like mental health. If I ever manage to integrate into cis-normative society and live passing as a woman it's beyond what I am willing to let myself dream or hope for.
As long as it eases dysphoria it would be worth it I think. Also I saw a lot of timelines online of people who transitioned when they were older. A lot of them passed and the others were atill really pretty even though didn't 100% pass. So I would say neither of our cganches are bad.