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For Matrix, I'd recommend
conduit
oversynapse
, with the expectation that all of synapse's features haven't yet been added (most notably support for spaces, which may or may not be a dealbreaker).It's incredibly easy to set-up and very lightweight. I never self-hosted synapse due to how resource-heavy it is, and constantly had issues with
dendrite
racking up resources as well.conduit
has honestly been the easiest thing I've self-hosted.What front-end are you running with conduit? I just spent two hours trying to get element to talk to it but i've put it off due to so much failure with it.
There's a couple I use: element (desktop & mobile), gomuks, nheko, and fluffychat.
I'm assuming you followed the deploy walkthrough? That should work pretty well on its own, but there might be some weird networking issues you could be having. First try running conduit once set up in the foreground to make sure it starts without issue, then try the health check listed in the instructions:
If it fails here, I'd recommend stopping by their matrix room with another account. The room is active and helpful; I greatly appreciated the help I got in setting up my homeserver with a subdomain + pretty homeserver name i.e. without the subdomain. As conduit is still early in development it'd probably be good to have a backup account on matrix.org or another smaller homeserver (preferably the latter given how overloaded the former is).
It's not too bad. I host for me and my wife with a few bridges and synapse and postgres together use less than 500MB of RAM. That is not too bad.