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this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy
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I've been seeing that shift a lot recently. For instance, a lot of friends will work out a deal where their kids spend the day with their grandparents once or twice a week to save on day care costs.
Nono I mean a full-on third, fourth etc. parent. Someone who takes care of the child basically from birth, who is as trusted as "mom" or "dad". Maybe even a second person responsible for breastfeeding the child.
I dunno about that one, chief... I don't trust people to not be weirdos or to be properly housebroken anymore. Certainly not westerners-- I'd have to do a full-on, US Government style background check on a mf before I was comfortable putting my child in another person's hands.
Haha welcome to modern kindergarden/daycare and the commodification of child rearing.
The only choice if you want your child to start socializing is which place. We visited the kindergarden based on recommendation, met the principal and toured the building. That's how we made our decision.
My wife met the teachers on the day he started, initially she went with him inside for a couple days but later left him there for a few minutes, then hours and then just brought him there and left.
He did not enjoy that! "Yes my child I know mom and dad were your lifeline in this world that you wouldn't survive otherwise for your entire life but now this stranger we met a week ago is responsible for that, she seems fun no?"
And these people will be responsible for a huge part of his education. They don't know about veganism, best compromise was vegetarian (yes fish counts as meat!) and hopefully they aren't to into cutesy copaganda.
Like that, you just described why I haven't had kids and frankly don't plan on 'em, at least in part lmao. Like... If against all odds, we still lived in the same America that we did when my mother was running me through kindergarten? If I lived in a neighborhood where most of the people that lived there looked and lived in the same general rung I do? It'd be less of an issue; but even theoretically knowing where the offenders in my city are, I can't trust that 1) offenders are actually made to reveal themselves 100% of the time anymore or that 2) that the faculty isn't that way and just ain't been caught yet.
Een beyond predation, you bring up ANOTHER salient point as to why I'm not; see, it hit me a few years back before my personally-childfree philosophy really crystallized was that your child is only really yours maybe the first 5 or 6 years of their life. After that, your child will spend more of their waking hours at their school than they do around you. Effectively, past the age of 6, your child is a ward of the state and at hazard from whatever fuckery their peers get into-- never mind the Amerikan-exceptionalist brainwashing from the teachers who will end up shaping their lives more than you will. You'd end up spending more time trying to undo the rot they're learning with no real surety that what you're trying to teach your seed will stick in the face of teachers and peers. Hell, the only reason it halfway worked on me was because my mother's boyfriend was an abuser for the first ten years of my going to school; so if you're actually a well-adjusted parent, you're only really swimming harder against the current our system orchestrates.
I pray you luck in guarding your own in this day and age, my man.
I mean something every parent needs to learn is that your kid will always be more exposed to danger than you would like.
Like we were very cautious with how he slept the first year since that's how most infants die because they can't roll on their backs and have trouble lifting their abnormally sized heads. Then while I had duty one night sleeping next to him I wake up and see him lying on his belly. His face was turned to the side, so he had no trouble breathing but that's a big yikes so I turn him back around. When I wake up in the morning I see his sleeping bag got bunched up in a weird way and in the dark and sleep haze I misread the situation and turned him from his back on his belly!! I would not have noticed if he had turned his face into the mattress and died until the next morning.
Kids can die so easy. Food that's slightly off but you don't notice it, unknown allergy, choking hazards, unsecured furniture, stumbling and falling on their head etc. It's impossible to think of everything. At some point I just had to face the fact that he could just randomly die unless I lock him in place and feed him mush.
So instead I let him climb the big slide by himself, give him some apple, let him help putting glassware away knowing he could die or severely be injured if he made a slight mistake but having to trust him and support him if he wants to try something new (within reason of course).
And so to me this is a lot like this. He could die, he could get severely injured/traumatized, he could get be irretrievably suckered into the propaganda around us. Those I just don't have control over and I need to trust him and hope for the best. He is a very bright kid, and I am trying to synthesize what primed me for radicalisation so I hope that I can pass that along. But in the end there I have next to no control of the future.
But I do wonder sometimes how my life would have turned out if I had been radicalised before marrying, or before becoming a dad. Because I am scared of what is to come when the beast dies. This country is such a grateful assistant to the hegemons crimes, if it asks for my son they will grab him and make him march. Ukraine should be a warning to everyone here in europe. If I had no other obligation I would probably be learning chinese right now. That's the reason why I'm looking to get the hell out of here, the other dangers probably exist everywhere in the world, some more, some less. But I can feel the vibe shifting among "my fellow" working-class whites. Or maybe I have become more alert to it, either way I know the beast is still there and there is so much effort being put into feeding it and hiding it.