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this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
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Showerthoughts
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When talking about people with ASD that's called unmasking and is one of the main goals of therapy.
Assuming ASD stands for antisocial disorder, I didn't realize there was therapy for it. I thought it was essentially just "I don't like those people, and I don't like THOSE people either......actually, I don't like most people. I'm just going to keep to myself."
Now, maybe I'm wrong, and ASD stands for something else.
Autistic Spectrum Disorder.
We don't have a natural ability to infer emotions from body language, for a start. We have to learn to actively pay attention to it. Replacing natural instinct that a neurotypical person has with an active thought process is tiring, for a start.
Add to that most ASD people have trouble with emotional control, need to actively think about their own facial expressions, and often have social quirks that are unacceptable like nail biting which must be actively repressed... and being around others for hours on end is exhausting.
On top of this, most ASD people also have ADHD, and in the modern open office environment between the social aspect and never ending barrage of distraction, and the workplace is hostile, actively hostile to folks with ASD.
This combination of factors leads to having no where to unmask and relax until they get home. When they do, they are so exhausted from being something they are not for 10 hours (commute has to be included as its all public space) that when they get home they just shut down. They don't call family or friends usually, they don't get things around the house done. They have to turn off and try to re-energize themselves for doing it all again tomorrow.
I know all this as I am ASD and ADHD
Being able to work from home has brought actual balance to our lives as we can unmask the moment the camera goes off, we have rooms at home where we can close the door and remove distractions (well except mandatory work chats, but its a matter of muting that for focus) and at the end of the day we still have energy for our actual lives. In other words, this is the true work-life balance that I had always heard of but never truly felt I had.
If it makes you feel better, they aren't hostile to you for your conditions. They're hostile to EVERYBODY. The world is just filled with shitty people, who enjoy making others lives awful. It's also full of people who are just looking for every easy advantage and scheme the system has to be taken advantage of...even at the expense of others. They aren't hostile because of ADHD and ASD. They're hostile because you exist, and therefore maybe can be taken advantage of. And if you can't be taken advantage of, then you're of no use to them.
Well, working from home it still requires discipline to optimize distractions, but it's at least possible.
Absolutely, especially with ADHD in the mix. When demand aversion kicks in, your brain literally tries to undermine any attempt to focus unless you can force it to cooperate. Music usually helps me with this.