Rant

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A place where you can rant to your heart's content.

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Follow all of Lemmy code of conduct.
Be respectful to others, even if they're the subject of your rant. Realize that you can be angry at someone without denigrating them.
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“That’s what I thought until I met my boyfriend!” (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 months ago by insomniacalmond@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/rant

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(I was gonna put this on an LGBT community but I can’t find one I’m looking for that’s just for talking)

Okay, that’s good for you that you thought you only liked women until you met your boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean that some man is gonna magically make me like men more.

I say I’m bi/perhaps omni because there are men I would still date, and they’re sorta like exceptions for me. But if not, I’d say I was a lesbian. Anyway, there was a period where I did think I might have been a lesbian.

Whenever the topic comes up/I mention it for whatever reason, maybe for advice, whatever, I tell my friend, and they say something like “Oh, I used to think I only liked girls too until I met my handsome boyfriend ❤️”

And: “Maybe one day a man will change your life and point of view just like a man changed mine <33”

I’m happy for you and your BF, and I’m glad that you figured out you liked men too. I’m happy it worked for you, but like I said, some people aren’t attracted to men. A man isn’t going to “fix them” or “change their life”.

I don’t need a man to make me realize that I really like guys all along or anything. I get that some people are just trying to relate to the situation and that’s fine, but I’ve gotten this response a lot and needed to rant a little.

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[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah, that sort of statement is really reductive, as though your experience conforms to theirs. Especially if they actually called it a "point of view". That makes them sound like tourists. Not cool, I'd hope for better.

Objectively speaking it's possible that you could meet the perfect man for you, fall in love, and be perfectly content with him for the rest of your life. The likelihood is vanishingly small even if you were looking for a male partner though, and it sounds like it's a lot more probable this would happen with a woman instead, so at least you probably won't have to put up with those people being smug about it.

But even if you did end up meeting this mythical dude, even if you fell in love and yadda yadda - it wouldn't change your preferences. You wouldn't suddenly find attractive a man you found unattractive before, just because you got some dick. That's just dumb.