this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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The online incel community has taken a break from blaming women for their ongoing failures in life to issue a collective tantrum over Netflix’s new drama Adolescence, which dares—dares, mind you—to portray incel culture as the toxic, rage-filled echo chamber it so demonstrably is.

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[–] Ilandar@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (12 children)

I bring this point up because, as toxic as incel culture is, I rarely see it tied back to the shitty economy. Just people pointing fingers at each other as though the Male Loneliness phenomenon were entirely the result of people’s personalities.

Because it is. Women aren't magically getting rich while all the men go bankrupt. Thinking you are lonely because you are poor is a cope fantasy that is 100% due to some kind of personality flaw you are harbouring.

[–] Schadrach 6 points 1 week ago (8 children)

Because it is. Women aren’t magically getting rich while all the men go bankrupt.

Wouldn't be required, so long as the social expectation is that straight dating generally requires men to spend on women over the reverse. All it requires is that the dude not have the money to spare, regardless of how women are doing. Couple that with the tendency for women to tend to strongly preference men who are wealthier or higher status than themselves, and just barely scraping by means you have a generally smaller dating pool available as a straight guy. That still generally expects you to be spending on them, rather than the reverse.

[–] Ilandar@lemm.ee 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

so long as the social expectation is that straight dating generally requires men to spend on women over the reverse.

It's not. In the western world this is a myth based on extremely outdated gender and family stereotypes. Some women prefer to have men pay, some prefer to pay themselves, some don't really care. It's not a hard rule you can use as an excuse to give up.

All it requires is that the dude not have the money to spare, regardless of how women are doing.

Even if you actually have to spend money on the date, which is not guaranteed, how much do you think you need to be spending? Why do you think dating needs to be expensive? Again, you are living by these weird rules you've invented that make dating seem far more difficult than it is in reality.

Couple that with the tendency for women to tend to strongly preference men who are wealthier or higher status than themselves

This is just straight up incel cope. You cannot put all women in a box like that and then wonder why you are struggling to meet anyone. Again, it is a fantasy you have invented so that you don't have to try. Try not making massive assumptions about people you literally know nothing about and you might actually have some success.

[–] Schadrach 3 points 1 week ago

It’s not. In the western world this is a myth based on extremely outdated gender and family stereotypes. Some women prefer to have men pay, some prefer to pay themselves, some don’t really care. It’s not a hard rule you can use as an excuse to give up.

Generally, not absolutely at all times. The woman I eventually married settled into a plan of taking turns as to who pays for dates (she literally insisted to pay for the second date since I paid for the first, and it grew into a pattern from there). From the mid 90s to the first Trump admin (the period of time in which I was dating girls/women) she was one of only 3 who suggested or encouraged splitting the costs in some fashion.

This is just straight up incel cope. You cannot put all women in a box like that and then wonder why you are struggling to meet anyone.

Who put all women in a box? It's a tendency, a trend, not an absolute descriptor of all individuals. At the same time if you believe wealth/status indicators do not play a significant role in how attractive women perceive men to be, or at least no more so than the reverse you're going to be very disappointed in the ladies. There is research out there to that effect, specifically that wealth indicators correlate positively with attractiveness for both men and women, but that the effect is much stronger in women considering men than the other way around.

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