Yeah but the proportion of intensity also matters. The n word literally dates back to slavery. It makes sense that it would be a pretty offensive racial line to cross. Although i don't think it's fully strict, i think it's just mostly strict, you can find examples outside of it.

There's also the question of a slur being situationally relevant. For example, you could write out the n word in long form, specifically for the act of describing it, in a dictionary for instance. You would struggle to argue that it's a necessarily "racist" usage of the word.

For the same reason i would argue that "cocksucker" isn't necessarily a slur against gay people, for example, if you don't use it for the purposes of specifically slurring a gay person. Which also brings into question whether or not it is even a slur in the first place.

Of course there are also words like faggot for example, which are more directly linked to gay people, and being a slur specifically in that regard, it doesn't have much use outside of that. But even then people do still use it, primarily gay people. Some of us just think it's a funny word. (you can call me a faggot all you want i don't care, i just think you look silly lmao) though i would still explicitly denote the slurred usage of faggot.

And even if you were gay, that does not make you immune to internelized homophobia.

and this would be pretty fundamentally "schizo" like we're talking freudian psychology levels of psycho analysis and diagnosing here. There are certainly select cases where that could theoretically be possible, but i don't see that being worth more than interesting psychological banter. I mean realistically, it's meaningless in 99% of cases. There's going to be another more aggressive tell.

Just like there are plenty of black people who disagree with the usage of the word removed even if spoken by a black person, because it is still rooted in racism.

and you can be against the usage of it, for sure, but i think you'll have a hard time finding black people who police what other black people say. Just as you will in this case.