this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Parenting

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Before we became parents the concept of "Mental Load" was largely theoretical as both of us were easily able to manage the everyday logistics of our own lives. With children coming into the equation everything suddenly becomes a juggling exercise - at least that was our experience.

I've read in several publications that the mental load or, to use a different wording, the organisation of everyday logistics is often predominantly done by women/mothers.

We try to share all tasks as evenly as possible. We both work approximately the same amount of time. We both earn similar wages. We share costs on a 50:50 basis. We both took the exact same amount of parental leave. However, the logistics of everyday life have, without even trying to aim for that, drifted more towards my wife.

How do you go about sharing this task? What kind of technical/IT solutions do you use to remain on the same page? Is it even necessary to share this task or are there others ways to "specialise" in certain areas of being a parent?

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[โ€“] jjpamsterdam@feddit.org 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Awesome! Which tool(s) do you use for the family calendar and task sharing?

[โ€“] jeena@piefed.jeena.net 2 points 3 days ago

We practically only use the calendar, it's possible to use tasks also with it but there is no native tool for it on iOS which my wife uses so we don't use it.

I selfhost https://radicale.org/v3.html and just added the calendar to iOS as a CalDav calendar, in GNOME Calendar and with help of DAVx5 on Android with the built in calendar. And then I added it to Home Assistant too, and made a dashboard which I automatically show at 7am on the TV.