Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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how do you deal with people who knew you pre-transition but don't recognize you? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 weeks ago by dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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Someone at work that used to be my direct manager had a meeting with me to introduce themselves. They didn't recognize me at all and I didn't want to out myself by disclosing who I was, so I went along with it.

I don't like lying, and when they asked about my work history I was honest even though it created immediate suspicion (how could we have not worked together given when I started working and my job experience?), and I just shrugged. It's obviously a kind of deception to not out myself, and I don't like that - but my instincts say it's better in this context to not out myself.

Probably relevant to the context is that the boss is male, older, conservative, and an immigrant from a non-Western culture that is not open minded about these things.

I am pretty sure based on things they have said in the past that they wouldn't be tolerant of a trans person.

Anyway, to my trans elders: how have you handled situations like this?

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[–] Taalnazi@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Personally what I heard people do, is:

to people you know would be def allies, disclose if you want; and to those that one is unsure about, try to run with it. Those I think would not be, you might as well not disclose. But always, this goes: never feel bad for not disclosing. Your safety goes above everything.

For like online dating, I heard people say they disclose before starting something. If they then say, "even better" in a creepy tone (chaser), or something like "ew, disgusting/oh so you're a (wrong gender) in (right gender)'s clothes" (transphobe), that's a sign to avoid them.