this post was submitted on 07 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon is a fighter (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 34 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.

Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.

[–] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

https://www.reddit.com/r/primatology/comments/11nqwsa/how_strong_are_chimpanzees_compared_to_humansalso/
Just putting this here because chimpanzees, while strong, aren't THAT strong. A big strong male human is stronger than a big strong male chimpanzee.
A gorilla of course would tear any person apart like tissue paper.

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Yeh what chimps got on humans is they go from zero to ripping your face off in 0 seconds flat, humans either require a lot of buildup to get that pissed or some kind of drug.

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

Apparently it is an instinctive way that chimps fight. First they gouge your eyes so you can't defend yourself. Then bite your hands so you can't attack. Then they rip off your genitals because fuck you that's why.

[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Years of martial arts training can give you this ability too, i mean, anon gonna be killed, but he won't hesitate

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Idk about you, but I hesitate to get myself killed.

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 week ago

Florida man has entered the enclosure.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago

I can believe that. There was that bath salts nutcase a few years back, and his victim was left in a similar state to chimp attack victims...

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don’t find us the slightest bit threatening.

I love this statement. It sounds entirely true, it really trivializes the part of humans when they attempt to overcome nature and its bouncers, and it also means I maybe have a chance of not dying if I ever should find myself surrounded by Gorillas and shitless (see if my natural shark repellent works here too) .

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yet we have gorillas in cages. Why? Because we don't fight with our hands, we fight with our brains. We create traps, tools, etc.

If you want to kill a gorilla, use that noggin and outsmart that beast.

OP is preparing in exactly the wrong way.

[–] LuxSpark@lemmy.cafe 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would own a gorilla in a spelling bee.

[–] EpeeGnome@lemm.ee 5 points 1 week ago

That's the spirit!

[–] RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Gorilla's will literally tear you to pieces.

[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Well don't leave us hanging what do the chimps be doing to em??

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Rip their arms, face, and genitals off, then leave you suffering.

Chimps are fucking brutal and absolutely terrifying.