this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 64 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I recently attended a memorial for a friend's deceased mom.

There was a fucking asshole cunt there in a full on red shirt, blue pants, MAGA hat and Trump pin.

I briefly debated punching them in the face, but I didn't really want to disrupt the service any more than the fucker already was by existing.

I hope they get cancer.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 15 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It was some distant relative of the person or something, I actually don't know who they are and I never ended up asking the friend because it seems kind of weird to be like, "hey who was that asshole at your mom's memorial?" - this was literally just a couple weeks ago so I feel like at best I should wait until it isn't as fresh.

Guy had a leg injury or something and walked with a cane and I allllllmost stole it.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You shouldn't steal a cane from someone that needs it to walk. You should weaken its structural integrity, so he would fall after putting a lot of weight on it.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 weeks ago

You made my day with this comment.

[–] AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The type of moron who votes. That's who.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm smart, I didn't vote last year.

[–] AnalogNotDigital@lemmy.wtf 2 points 3 weeks ago

Then you're not smart.