this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2025
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Are The Straights OK?

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Is someone holding these poor souls hostage and forcing them to be together?

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TranscriptA tweet saying "Six Male Personalities Of Modern Men Explained: (which one are you?) Read the thread. " It has a picture of some of these, the first one is "alpha male".It has a cartoonish picture of a guy in a suit. The next is "Beta male". This shows a person wearing a blazer, with a sneer on their face. The one after this is "Delta Male". This shows a guy in a plain white t-shirt. Next is a "Gamma male" It shows a guy in a red-and-black striped tshirt, with long hair. The next one is an "Omega Male" It shows a person with short black hair, glasses and suspenders." The last one is a "Sigma male" It shows a guy with sunglasses and a leather jacket."

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I wonder what an Upsilon male is. The Wikipedia gives us more options than I'd expected.

I imagine a phi male is just a bit out of phase with other guys.

A theta male always figures out his angle of approach before beginning something.

A lambda male fails at predictable intervals.

A mu male is just a guy. It may be mean to say it but he's utterly average.

And of course the omega male gets pregnant but not like in a trans way.

Curious what people suspect the other types of males are like.

[–] piranhaconda@mander.xyz 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Pi males are a nonstop stream of irrational conspiracy theories

Tau males are gym bros (torque)

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Delta Male thrusts exactly once, so hard he bottoms you out, and instantly has the biggest orgasm possible, then immediately rolls over and falls asleep.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

Zeta Male is so mysterious that there is a $1,000,000 bounty on being able to predict his weak spots.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Can you explain the omega 🫃?

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

So here are two youtube videos on the topic: Strange and Lindsay

Or Wikipedia if you'd prefer, though I definitely recommend the videos to if you're putting any mental punctuation behind any of your questions.

Tl;dr you'll never look at people calling themselves an alpha the same again