The Onion and other satire w/ layers

As more Americans contemplate their employment prospects during a time when it’s becoming increasingly difficult to retire, experts stated Wednesday that it’s not too late to change careers at 50, despite the fact that they sure as fuck wouldn’t. “If you’re finding your work increasingly unfulfilling and always dreamed of doing something else, there’s nothing wrong with making that career switch, even if you’re over 50, although that personally sounds like an absolutely stupid-ass idea to us,” said Stony Brook University economist Clare Ewell, adding that there are a few notable examples of people who pivoted career paths late in life, but statistically your chances of succeeding are abysmal, which would definitely prevent her and all other employment experts from even considering something so goddamn shortsighted. [...]

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