this is the first year my friends and mother neglected to get me a gift or anything of value. usually, i'd be given some money or something useful. occasionally, a friend would buy me a Steam game off my Wishlist. i had never come to expect this and told those buying me things that it was unnecessary and that i loved them regardless. my friends have supported me in many ways throughout my life. i truly owe them a lot and would never ask for more or hold this behavior to them every year.
however, i guess part of me came to appreciate their repeated kindness on my birthday over the years, because as the evening of my birthday approached i noticed other than a "happy birthday" or two i hadn't received much attention at all. nobody gave anything.
damn. huh. well, we're all in difficult spots financially. ..but one of my friends is literally in his best paying job ever and has a decent savings account. i shouldn't read into it. even if the reason was simply "eh i just didn't want to," i am okay with that of course, but it does sting a little. it makes me feel old and dehumanized. i am 36. who cares about the feelings of a 36 year old? who gets a gift for a 36 year old? who celebrates a 36th birthday?
i'm having a bit of existential dread, i think.
Getting gifts for kids is easier as you can get something significant for them without breaking the bank. As people get older its tough to not end up getting someone some piece of junk that will end in a landfill. Personally I don't like mandatory gift giving at holidays and milestones. I prefer opportunistic giving which is when your in a position to give somebody something that they need or will help them or will like in a way they will treasure it for years. Sometimes this can be doing something rather than buying something. It took awhile to get to this way but I have been moving toward it my whole adult life.
i definitely get that. i give the people i love $$$ because i know it's always needed. that's kinda been our thing for each other on occasions.
Money gets a bit weird because then its really obvious that the better off person is giving more than the less better off. Again I find it best to reserve those for real need. To me a well timed loan is more useful than trinket level money.
i guess if my friends were in different income brackets it might be worth changing, but we’re all relatively the same, so.. just Venmoing $50 isn’t much.