this is the first year my friends and mother neglected to get me a gift or anything of value. usually, i'd be given some money or something useful. occasionally, a friend would buy me a Steam game off my Wishlist. i had never come to expect this and told those buying me things that it was unnecessary and that i loved them regardless. my friends have supported me in many ways throughout my life. i truly owe them a lot and would never ask for more or hold this behavior to them every year.
however, i guess part of me came to appreciate their repeated kindness on my birthday over the years, because as the evening of my birthday approached i noticed other than a "happy birthday" or two i hadn't received much attention at all. nobody gave anything.
damn. huh. well, we're all in difficult spots financially. ..but one of my friends is literally in his best paying job ever and has a decent savings account. i shouldn't read into it. even if the reason was simply "eh i just didn't want to," i am okay with that of course, but it does sting a little. it makes me feel old and dehumanized. i am 36. who cares about the feelings of a 36 year old? who gets a gift for a 36 year old? who celebrates a 36th birthday?
i'm having a bit of existential dread, i think.
Hey friend. I've recently stopped giving gifts for friends birthdays because I'm a crotchety old bastard now (30s) but I still love them just as much. My reason is more subconscious than an intentional decision. I just don't care about my birthday and don't really feel like anybody else does. I still get friends kids little gifts or whatever because it excites the little rascals but when it comes to friends I think the mutual support is more meaningful. When they are in a bad spot I'm there and vice-versa and that's more than enough for me.
I think because of your post I might start back up giving birthday gifts though because what if it was meaningful and they don't say?
Happy birthday. I hope you have supportive and loving friends who just don't care about birthdays.
i don’t doubt the love my friends have for me. i am certain my friends value me. i think what hit me most was the fact it became acceptable and i would be ungrateful for noticing it. i suddenly felt old and ignored lol.