this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2025
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So for starters she's a baby. She's objectively a cute baby (even people who dont like babies will mention it), and when she's not ruining my sleep/eardrums she does cute baby things. Got a picture of her holding hands with another baby at daycare and have been getting "jokes" about how I need to get a shotgun ever since. Mainly from my own father and father in law but also others. Been trying to come up with a good way to shut it down. I don't think anyone is actually expecting me to get a gun much less attempt to intimidate the first person brought home but I'm pretty tired of hearing it already and there's who knows how many years until a potential long term partner.

Not the first parent v grandparent thing I've had to deal with (never imagined how often parenthood would have me telling my own mother to "shut it" essentially...) but this is the first where I've been struggling with a good response. Maybe because she's still working on standing but I havent considered friends much less anything more yet...I've been going with the eyeroll and noncommittal grunts for now. Both grandpa's are loving, stubborn, and more than a little emotionally stunted.

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[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Cultural differences I guess but I'm unsure what that comment is supposed to allude?

Is it about her being chased by boys, later in life, that a properly protective dad needs to chase off with a shotgun? A comment like that would be fucked up even if she was a teenager already, but right now she's a baby who's sex you cannot even tell. WTF is going on in these people's heads?

So, assuming I'm right with this interpretation, I'd have a talk with them about this sort of sexism. Again and again and again until they think thrice before fucking their grandchildren up with their twisted views.

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

Cultural differences I guess but I’m unsure what that comment is supposed to allude?

People take it as the dad getting final approval...

But it's also about guys that won't take no for an answer.

So really, the answer OP is probably looking for is:

I'll get her a gun when she's ready to shoot it herself.

But the fucked up reality is, some people are going to be interested in someone's daughter before she's old enough to shoot her own gun.

It's less about viewing your daughter as your own property, and more understanding that a lot of really shitty people already consider your daughter property, and don't see "theft" as a deal breaker.

Most men honestly never have to think like a woman/girl has to until they have a daughter.

And for women/girls, the world is a hell of a lot more dangerous than for a man/boy.

OP really should have talked to his wife before random people on the internet. There's a valuable conversation here