this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Unpopular Opinion

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I genuinely don’t understand how people see social interaction as something beautiful or natural. To me it feels like pure obligation.

Even at work you are not really yourself. You are adjusting how you speak, how you act, and how you respond just to fit the role, satisfy your employer, and keep things smooth with colleagues. That constant switching can be exhausting.

Outside of work it does not feel that different. Conversations, replying, small talk, making plans, it can all feel more like maintenance than real connection.

Sometimes it feels like people are not actually enjoying it as much as they say. They are just used to it being the default way to live.

Maybe I am missing something, but I do not see the beautiful part everyone talks about.

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[–] ComradePenguin@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

Small talk, obligations etc. can leads to deep talk, real friendships and platonic and romantic love.

Learn some semi-eccentric small talk. When you get to know what someone works with, there is always something to learn. No exceptions. Don't play entirely by social norms and rules, just ask non-invasive questions about their lives, hobbies, work etc. Example: "As a elevator technician, what security mechanisms exist? What prevents it from falling if the wires fail?", "As a pharmacist what kinds of medicines is it that are a lot more popular than many would assume? Which is truly prescribed more than expected?"

There is guaranteed something you can ask that are interesting. Talking to someone about having kids can be interesting, feel free to get a little personal. "Was it difficult when he/she was a baby?" "What is it you like the most about being a parent?"

Politics can be a lot of fun, but needs to be kept to two parties always, never more at the time. It should also be an open and safe place, even if that person is a bit of a bigot. Just ask why they dislike x, y, z. You can always say "I don't really care that they are x. It don't really affect my life in any way, so I think that as long as they don't hurt anyone they should be left alone. I care more about z (corporate greed, exploitation, poverty, corruption etc)"

After a while you can get into the juicy stuff that creates connections and the deep conversations. This is where you want to be. Why bother with being stuck in the small-talk zone. God it's boring, but it is where both parties learn to feel safer with eachother.

As long as it is not offensive, its mostly just fun for both parties to skip past the most boring parts. Most people are cool and chill.

Stay away from discussions about abortion, domestic violence, suicide and rape. Pretty much everything else is okay-ish.