this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2026
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me_irl
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Its wild to me verbalizing turn-ons and turn-offs is considered rude nowadays.
It used to be considered prudent and realistic.
Not wasting my time or their time is polite.
If you don't want to date people who enjoy role play, sure. It's not rude to make people aware of that. Fine.
If you don't want to date people who are overweight, that's fine. However, if you say that to someone they will probably find you to be a bit of a jerk.
There was a time, decades ago, when smoking was much more common that it was seen as something more like a choice or preference - maybe vaping enjoys that category these days. Now that smoking is much more unusual it's more like a type of substance abuse. Any smoker hoping to form a meaningful relationship would be aware that it's an impediment.
You can avoid wasting people's time simply by not consuming it.