Writing Prompts

"You what, mate?"

"You may not pass, without paying the toll. I did not stutter, mortal."

"First, I'm not mortal, I'm a bloody vampire. And why should I pay you you to cross into a place your infernal self has no claim over?"

"Possession is 9/10ths of the law?"

"Bollocks to that. Look, you are standing at the foot of a representation of the bridge to the afterlife. You're a bloody demon, you'd be in five different kinds of trouble if I call down an angel, or any of the psychopomp deities or entities. Bloody hell, you're not even a major demon, you're just a bloody rabishu."

"Doesn't matter. I'm here, you pay the toll, or I bite you if you try to cross."

"You bite me, I bite back, no matter how foul demon blood tastes. And I'll win, eventually. Then where will you be?"

"I will be right here, with your bollocks in my teeth."

"You think you're hard, mate? You don't know from hard."

"Hard or not, you'll pay the toll, or you don't cross the Rainbow Bridge."

"Oh, bloody hell, what's the toll?"

"Belly rubs."

"What?!"

"I'm a canine rabishu, are you blind?"

"No, I can bloody well see that! You want your belly rubbed?"

"Well, I saw the dogs that cross over getting theirs rubbed by the guardians and greeters. Nobody ever rubbed my belly."

"That's because you're a ravenous, soul munching monstrosity! You just look vaguely canine shaped. And more wolfish than doggish, at that."

"Well, you look like a cut rate chav dracula."

"I... Are you taking the piss?"

"A little, yes. You don't really look chav, just cut rate."

"Okay doggie, let's try again. I have to get across that fucking bridge. There's a very good man what has a very good dog that wasn't supposed to die. I owe that man a very big favor. Are you going to let me cross or not?"

"Are you going to rub my belly?"

"No! I'm not rubbing a demon's belly! I'll draw back a bloody nub!"

"I promise not to eat you if you rub my belly. I'm not a cat rabishu."

"Aye, they are right obstreperous."

"You've met some then. So, what will it be?"

"Oh, fuck me running. Lay over then, let me see that belly."

"Ahhhhh, that's it, that's the spot! Oooooohhhhhh! Yes! Get that spot again!"

"Are we done here mate?"

"Um. I guess. Look, do you mind if I tag along?"

"What?"

"You know, after you get done over there. Mind if I tag along with you?"

"To do what?!"

"Um, punish the wicked on your behalf? That's what we rabishu tend to be called to do."

"I guess. But I already have a dog. So, if you can't get along with Benjerman, you're out."

"I can live with that."