this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2026
426 points (98.6% liked)
me_irl
7938 readers
995 users here now
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
The polite way to do this is to ask “can you talk.”
No, the polite way is to skip the preamble and just call. Either they pick up or they don’t.
/edit: I took this meme to mean at work, where being on call is expected. In that case I‘d rather get called directly than getting interrupted twice by writing first.
Outside work: don’t call unless this is an emergency.
If you cold call there better be blood or fire involved. It's not the 1940s anymore, you don't own my time. If you call and it's nothing urgent or important, or a programmed call, I will hang up.
That’s my point. If someone writes first and then calls they are wasting my time twice.
The point being that if you have a question and it is not urgent, you could ask by text and I will answer on my time. If it is something complex that merits a conversation, say so and we'll schedule a call when it is convenient for the both of us. If you cold call to inquire something complex and I have something more urgent or important to tend to, you are effectively stealing my entire attention. There's a reason we have asynchronous communication channels.
Sounds like someone who gets set to always go to voicemail.
No I need the preamble. Is this a conversation I want to have now or later or never?
That too. Though sometimes I can text, but I can’t talk. I usually assume the same about others.