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When did you become a feminist? (lemmy.today)

submitted 1 week ago by Wren@lemmy.today to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone

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I ask because I was thinking of how I went from a "one of the guys" type of girl to a full blown "bring down the patriarchy" type of woman. It wasn't one thing, it was many. Only through reflection and carefully putting the pieces together did I realize feminism was everything I had been feeling about my anger and frustration at inequality, and my need to make the world better for the people around me, but especially my neices.

So when did you realize you were a feminist?

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[–] i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago

I was raised in a very right wing household. I was a product of my upbringing and environment (hello, rural insular red state life!) but I still questioned a lot of things until I full on swung to being a feminist.

One of the biggest things for me was thinking about how, if I used the framework I was raised to live in, I would never be able to live my life happily. There are too many "no-win" situations.

If a man that is close to you hurts you, it's still a "you" issue. Did your dad abuse you? You're broken because of "daddy issues." Did you turn down a man and he hurt you? Why didn't you give him a chance? Did you have sex with that man? Slut. Did you not have sex with that man? Bitch. Did you get abused? Why didn't you leave? Did you try to leave but got hurt or murdered? Why did you miss the red flags? Did you defend yourself when he attacked you and accidentally hurt him? All of his abuse is excused, you're actually the worse abuser. Did you leave but you had to start over? You should have thought about that and choose a quality man. Are you trying to collect child support from a deadbeat? Why are you such a money grubbing bitch?

The best defense against men encroaching on you is other men, like a brother, father, or husband. Your own words and wishes do not matter until another man says they do.

As I experienced life and thinking about how I was held back despite doing everything right, it just made no sense to continue supporting this system. Men and women can coexist and each get a fair slice. Got to fight, for myself, other women, and women in the future.