this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2025
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It's definitely a challenge to navigate friendships throughout the different phases of life.
As a teen I was naive in placing so much importance on friendships. The experience was totally worth it, but almost impossible to reproduce after that naivety is gone. I think most people eventually learn that friends come and go and stop doing that, especially during the raising kids/making money phase of life.
In my early 30s, I realized my work buddies weren't going to remain friends after we stopped working together, and I became nostalgic for the friendships of my youth. I tried to form some new friendships via interest groups, but it seemed as though friendships had become as ephemeral as Facebook friends. Probably a sign of the time.
Now, in my mid 40s, I am facing an empty nest soon and expect to be able to invest some time into a group and form some new friendships. But it doesn't help that I live in a conservative area that doesn't have many intellectual or techy people. I will probably end up driving to a big city for a once or twice a month meeting.
It can be discouraging, but I think it's important to keep trying to find people to connect with. Not doing so would be really bad for your health and wellbeing.
Soon I will have to be doing the same. It's a little over an hour drive one way. Do you have any recommendations about how to find an interest group?
There is a LUG and an Emacs group in a city 1 hr away from where I live. I've been on the LUG's mailing list for a while. I keep an eye out for blog posts from the Emacs meetup. I found out about these groups a long time ago.. not sure how. I used to work in that city.
You could watch the public library event calendar, or even create your own event at the public library and maybe start a new group with regular meetings. I hosted a Linux Installfest in a small town close to where I live. There wasn't a big enough turn out (only 2). Running the event in a bigger city would probably have been more successful.
How could I forget about the utility of our public library!?!?! Thanks for the reminder and take care.