this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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I see what you're saying, and I do recognize the logic in it — for someone that wants to change. I've known too many addicts that are perfectly fine with taking those positive affirmations and turning right back around and doing the exact same shit they've always done.
I guess my question is: what separates positive affirmations from enabling when the addict has no interest in change?
You only give the positive affirmations for things they're doing well to fix the problem. If they've been sober, or been exercising, or lost some weight, or whatever, you congratulate them for it. You don't just tell them they're doing a great job when they're doing nothing.
The goal is to build positive connotations in their mind to doing things that are hard but they're working on. You're trying to make the thought of staying away from old bad habits that gave them pleasure less positive than the new things they're working on. Their brain is going to tell them to return to the old ways. We need to overcome that and make them prefer to not.
This goes for anything. The best way to train an animal or person is positive reinforcement. Negative can work, but it's been shown to be quite a bit less effective. Sometimes it's the only option, but when positive is an option then it should be used instead.