this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2026
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Well, the term got created by people who were using it to describe themselves as if it were a disability and they needed some kind of special treatment to solve their "problem". Naturally this also had an overlap with the then-trending "Pick-Up Artist" community right from the start. Or incel forums which were an insane crab bucket of woman-hating basement dwellers. I don't even mean like just rude to women, I mean hate and fear.
Needless to say being associated with this group in any way was embarrassing and it quickly became the butt of jokes. It quickly became an insult, though I don't think it's exactly fair to apply to people who just are virgins rather than self - described incels who are a member of that community.
You might want to check your sources. Most people associate it with 4chan and the like but the term was coined in the 90s by a woman who started a support group for people who had trouble connecting with others, herself included.
But what happened, predictably, is that people who were helped by the group left. No reason to go to incel meetings if you've found love. The people who never found a part er grew bitter and poisoned the whole thing.
I didn't know it went that far back. I first heard about it around 2009, and it wasnt strictly associated with 4chan but it seemed for all the world like a new trend at the time.
This is like 1/3 the reason I think we should legalize sex work. There's some percentage of people who might have sex finally, and realize "Yes that's fun but maybe I shouldn't shape my whole life around it" and go on to form hobbies and interests that will make them more successful in life and in love.