this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2026
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Privacy

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Privacy for me has been incredibly rewarding, but when talking to people who haven't been introduced to privacy, there are occasionally some moments that make it exhausting. One conversation in particular is one that I've had to go through dozens of times, and it always goes along these lines:

  • Alice: Why is your phone in airplane mode? / What's your phone number?
  • Bob: I don't have a carrier.
  • Alice: But you have a phone.
  • Bob: Yes.
  • Alice: How do you not have a carrier?
  • Bob: Phones can come without a carrier.
  • Alice: What do you use it for?
  • Bob: Everything you use yours for.
  • Alice: How do you talk to people?
  • Bob: Messaging apps over Wi-Fi.
  • Alice: What if you don't have Wi-Fi?
  • Bob: Public Wi-Fi is everywhere. If I don't have Wi-Fi, I likely don't need to get in touch.
  • Alice: What about emergencies?
  • Bob: I can still contact emergency services.

Each time it happens, it has a unique flavor. One person accused me of lying and then fraud. I know people are just curious and don't mean to be rude, but it makes me die a little inside every time someone asks. I've begun trying to sidestep the conversation entirely:

  • Alice: Why is your phone in airplane mode?
  • Bob: To save battery.

or:

  • Alice: What's your phone number?
  • Bob: You can contact me with an app called Signal.

People seem to think that a phone automatically comes with a carrier and that it'll stop working if you don't have one. In reality, I'm saving hundreds of dollars per year while avoiding spam, fraud, breaches, surveillance, and being chronically online. People have a hard time coping with those who do things a little differently.

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[–] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I’m someone who likes to walk the path less traveled in general. And in general I’ve found that people don’t respond well to such things. Especially when you explain them in dept. “Oh they choose to be different huh? => let’s ridicule them to cover up our own insecurities”

I’ve learned through trial, error and ridicule that people need to earn the right to an explanation to these matters.

I’m not gonna explain to Joe Shmoe that I use Linux because I’m doing my part in not giving the uprise in fascism the steady flow of data they want to increase their influence over the world.

They’d never understand. They gotta earn that by proving they care about the topic.

[–] ragas@lemmy.ml 7 points 23 hours ago

Yeah something like "Nun of yer business." works well.

Never explain yourself to people who don't want to hear the explanation.

For nicer people something like "Its probably boring to you." can work well. If they insist they can't complain. :D