this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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Off My Chest

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Wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there, but I needed a place to let it out. I suppose my situation was too good to be true. Dated for years, but the marriage itself did not make it to a single year, at least unofficially.

It's been a stressful time. She previously had a government job under an agency that doge culled. She loved her job. I realize that as a society we work too much, but to some degree people do want to feel productive and that many people find their workplaces to be places of belonging. She apologized for taking so long to come to this conclusion, but she mentioned that this time away from work has helped a lot with self-reflection.

I was aware that she considered herself bi previously and that she had relations with women before. I wasn't aware of the extent of it. She told me she felt compulsory heterosexuality for a long time, but wasn't entirely sure of it and I was her last chance in regards to men. She told me she still loved me, just not that way, and that I was the best partner she'd ever had, that she was remorseful about not being compatible in that regard. We discussed a lot of more private feelings, mostly trying to understand and showing concern for each other.

I support her. If that's how she feels then that's how she feels, and she deserves to be happy. I'm not angry with her, and we're not leaving each others lives, just changing roles. It still hurts a lot, but that's life sometimes. It isn't anyone's fault.

That said I'm glad I won't be doing anything tomorrow. I'm just struggling to function right now. And yeah, that's how it's going.

Edit: I slept in today quite a bit. I've read through most of the replies and it really melted my heart. I cried a bit. I didn't expect so many kind words or this much encouragement. I appreciate a lot of the advice too. I don't really know how to express any gratitude beyond this. I will try to reply a bit more later, but I need to take some more time to myself for a while. Thank you.

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[–] Ithi@lemmy.ca 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Being a popular right wing grifter with 20m sales isn't the flex you think it is.

I would say that article they linked about him contributes a lot btw.

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today -4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You calling Jordan Peterson a “right-wing grifter” isn’t an argument... its you admitting you don’t have one.

Millions of people reading his work doesn’t make him correct, but it definitely makes your drive-by dismissal look shallow. If the only way you can engage with ideas about precision, responsibility, or self-reflection is to label the author a cartoon villain, that says more about your intellectual comfort zone than it does about the material.

And flexing an article “that contributes a lot” while refusing to address the actual point I raised is basically the academic version of “I didn’t read it but I hate it.” If you actually had a counterpoint, you’d make one instead of hiding behind slogans.

If the best you can do is buzzwords and vibes, don’t be shocked when people treat your take with the same level of seriousness you put into it, which is to say none.

[–] zen@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Let me get this straight. So OP posts an article detailing why Jordan Peterson is wrong. Your response is to say that he's successful and rich, how wrong could he be? Someone gently tries to tell you that him being successful doesn't mean he's right, and you respond by getting cranky at them?

Please give this page a read, and let me know what you think.

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today -2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hey, I totally forgot to give you some homework. Since you are suddenly the expert here, check this out and let me know what you think.

Dr. Chloe Carmichael, an actual clinical psychologist, basically says the same thing Peterson does. You have to notice problems early and actually talk them through or they just rot and turn into resentment. 🔗 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/nervous-energy/202103/the-value-of-addressing-issues-early-in-relationships

Ignoring stuff does not keep the peace. It just blows up later. Pretending ignorance is bliss only makes the problems worse.

[–] zen@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Even a broken clock is right twice a day. If Jordan Peterson told me the sky is blue... Well I'd believe him because he'd be right. But that doesn't mean he isn't a disingenuous cooker who spews scientific misinformation (and hatred) on the regular.

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

That’s a long way of saying “I don’t like him so nothing he says counts.” Riveting analysis.

[–] Nomorereddit@lemmy.today -2 points 2 days ago

Wow, dramatic. If you read what I actually said instead of rewinding to “Jordan Peterson is wrong” in your head, you’d notice I wasn’t making an argument from authority at all... I was pointing out context you clearly missed.

But sure, keep pretending I’m defending him like he’s infallible just because you need a villain.